it's all me

2011-10-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

two more

2009-07-19T18:52:00.000-07:00

I'm on a roll. God I've miss scrapbooking.

I DID A PAGE!

2009-07-19T12:43:00.001-07:00

I actually scrapbooked a page. First one in way too long. A year it's been, I think. Been taking a couple digi classes over that http://www.jessicasprague.com/ and have learned a few things about photoshop. this page might prove that I've learned how to do grunge in excess LOL (not that she's teaching excess, she's all about subtlety, something I know nothing about teehee)

Pretty sure I like it. No, I do like it. I'm all about texture and this certainly has that! And I finally WROTE something. nothing deep or profound. Just what I've been thinking lately.

I also edited a few other pictures that I hope to scrap soon (today???)

m

my little big brother

2009-06-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

Today is my brother's birthday! He's the best brother a girl could have! He's 13 months younger than me, but ever since I can remember, he's taken the role of my big brother. Looking out for me. Protecting me. Making me laugh till my tummy hurts. Loving me unconditionally.

YOU ROCK Michael!!!!

Happy (39th) birthday my brotha!

i love you man!!! can I have your bud light?

I'd post his blog addy, or facebook page, or twitter name, but he's like not into all that crap. And with all the time I spend (read: waste) at the above places, I can't blame him. But do me a favor, would ya? Leave a birthday wish for him here and I'll get them to him. SHOW HIM HOW KICK ASS THE INTERNET IS :)

iris with green dog

2009-05-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

hard to say which is funnier. The clueless dog, of the laughing (equally clueless) dog owner.

yes, I really do crack myself up.

You say it's your birthday!

2009-05-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

hello 40!!!

I've been thinking a lot about my not so minor freak out about leaving my 30's.

Here's the thing: My 30's rocked my socks off.

I had Noah, the best boy in the entire world.
I met, fell in love with, and married Peter.
We added to our family with two beautiful, funny, adorable girls.
I became a Catholic and strengthened by relationship with God.
I started scrapbooking and taught classes with uber talented artists at my favorite store.
I wrote a book! Thought of it, designed it, worked on it for 2 years, and even finished it!!!
I met a group of women whose friendships mean more to me than I could possible explain.
We found a great house that, even with the crazy small backyard, we totally love.
We both have jobs/careers that we love.
and most recently, we found Iris and added her to our family.

And that's just the big stuff. That doesn't count every laugh I've heard from my kids in the other room, every smile they've giving to me, every fight that got worked out. Every debt we've managed to pay off. Every baseball game, or karate tournament, or talent show. That doesn't count every funny exchange between peter and I or every time we make each other bust out in laughter.

My thirties kicked ass! Plain and Simple. How could my 40's possibly measure up to a list like that? I've wondered that all week, coming into today. I woke assuming I would feel exactly the same. Everyone said I would, and I saw no reason not to believe them. Here's the thing. I DON'T feel the same. I feel BETTER. If my thirties kicked my twenties stupid butt, my 40's are going to do the same, I just know it.

So bring it on new decade! Show me what you got. You're got big shoes to fill, and I know you're going to rock the house!

it's a miracle we

2009-05-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

We have been doing our taxes, this is a conversation we continually have about getting all the necessary information to Lynn, the CPA. I started out confused and it only got worse.

Me: See attached for number. Please call to get the 08 number for CPA

P: Looking for interest – not taxes

Me: Duh. Where is the number?

P: Don’t know

Me: Well who is our lender? This is for 08

P: Accredited?

Me: Hahahahha I think so. You do pay it, don’t you?

P: ME????? I thought you paid it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Har har.

P: Don’t laugh – just looked at my bank acct and I did not pay May. They never pulled it out of my acct.

Me: Well now you have two reasons to call them.

P: STILL don’t know the #

me

This looked fun

2009-05-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

And it was :)

take your answer for each of the following 12 questions and do a google image search of it:

•name
•favorite food
•hometown
•favorite colour
•favorite movie
•favorite drink
•dream vacation
•favorite dessert
•self description
•how you are feeling
•favorite thing in the world
•what you want to be when you grow up.

go here to make a mosiac

(idea from Stacey )

Iris and Noah

2009-05-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

I really only have a few things to say about this:

1. That's is a dog, not a rabbit :)

2. Noah does not always walk on all 4's.

3. That is the cutest little Iris in all the land!

Iris rules, end of story

2009-05-01T21:25:00.000-07:00

yeah, that's not the end of the story, y'all know me better than that. This Iris thing is too good not to delve right into, for like ever and ever. She's amazing, this little one, and we are all over-the-moon in love with her.

Here she is only minutes after landing in Sky Harbor International Airport. Freaked out, for sure, but we bonded instantly and she was peacefully sleeping on my lap within hours of meeting me.

Our first stop was my work. Had to say hello to the troops. It was the least I could do, seeing that they (especially Traci) was with me every step of the way in the puppy-selection process.

We didn't even go inside, that will happen soon enough. We hung out outside, she pooped, peed, pooped again and took a drink. I even managed to refrain from taking a pooping picture, that's how much I love you people. Cuz, if I had taken that picture, you can be damn sure I would have posted it. You can thank me later.

Here we are, still at the office, chilling in the niche of the windows. Check out the hose, which I wanted to photoshop out of picture, but decided against it as it does give some frame of reference on her size.

Here's our happy girl. Gotta love the smile of a Frenchie!

Tuckered out after a day of travel. Uncle Mike has 'the touch' and she instantly fell asleep in her lap. I can't wait for Iris to meet his dog, Harley.

It's kinda late now and everyone has left. The kids are asleep, and it's only the three of us now. Me, Peter and Iris. I think she's done with the jet lag thing and is running around the house, exploring the plethora of things she can either chew up, pee on, or if she's really feeling bold, BOTH. We are following her around with "appropriate" chew toys, which, amazingly enough, she's taking. I know this because I can hear the clicking of the bone against the tile floor as I type.

I have to give a quick shout out to her breeder, the 3 sisters at Green Acre Pets. Persis, my breeder, was a joy to work with. It's already clear that Iris has been well loved, well trained, and well bred. I am so thankful for their dedication to this breed, and this little doll face. If you should find yourself wanted a pure bred dog, look them up. They pretty much rock!

With that, I'm outtie, I'm going to lay on the floor and watch our little Iris play with her bone under the big chairs in the family room. I'd do a play by play but that would be exciting only to me, and I find it hard to type while laying on my stomach.

m

I am so in love!

2009-04-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

For nearly two months I've been consumed with finding the perfect dog for our family. We decided that a French Bulldog would be a good fit for us, and so the search began. I can't begin to tell you how many websites I've viewed. How many google searches I did. How many phone calls and emails I made to breeders. Or how with each email my longing for a dog increased.

I've found many I liked, only to forward to Peter where he voted her off the island. At times I thought I would kill him. But his desire for the right dog balanced out my weakness for a cute face. Yesterday, I found another beauty. I emailed her to Peter, and he agreed, she's perfect. He even let sarah look take a peek (the kids have no idea! they are going to die!) and she loved "uncle Rick's new puppy"

It's been a long time coming, a new dog. I haven't had a dog since 2000. We are thrilled to finally be at a place were we feel we will be good dog parents. We had many opportunities to be home to some amazing dogs, but we knew it wouldn't be fair to the dog. We weren't ready. Now we are, though, and if feels great!

To say I'm not terrified would be a lie. I'm as scared as I was bringing home Noah. "do I know how to do this?", "how do you potty train again?", "will the pee and poo gross me out?", "will I ever want to leave the house again!!"

Okay, okay, I've rambled enough. Here's our new baby. We get her Friday - 6 days from today. I can hardly breathe thinking about it.

she's so small!

break

2009-03-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

I've been MIA for a while. This is what I've been up to.

www.michellesnotetoself.blogspot.com

Trying to make some changes. Be healthier. Be happier. Be a better me.

The Note To Self blog is really what's in my brain, put to paper. It's intended to be for me, for when I fall off the wagon. Something I can come back to and remember how I feel now. How good I feel now. With the hope that I'll get back on that wagon and continue to stay on track. I'd love to hear your comments/struggles/tricks!

Anyway, I might continue to be away from here for a bit. I'm still in the getting-all-fired-up-trying-to-figure-out-how-to-make-this-a-part-of-my-life phase. So I'm thinking blogging (here)will take a back seat until I get that figured out.

I'll leave with this little convo between Peter and I. It should make sense now, with the above information.

Peter and I after work, on cell phones trying to figure out the evening plans.

Peter: "you sound cranky"
Me: "Yah, I kinda am, I guess. I don't feel cranky, but Michael said that too. I think I'm just hungry"
Peter: "well you knew it would happen"
Me: "I know. it's just weird. I shouldn't be hungry. I ate a good snack like an hour and a half ago. it's hard to te---"
Peter: "tell if it's hungry or habit?!"
Me: "YES!"
Peter: "trust me babe, I understand. I'm fat, too"
Me: dead silence
Me: "did you just say you understand cuz you're fat TOO?"
Peter: "no. oh no! I said, "*I* understand cuz I'm fat....too" "
Me: dead silence
Peter: "Yes, I know that I just stuck my food in my mouth!"

well, it cracked me up!

3 things

2009-03-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

thing one:

sarah has twenty teeth. She told me this today, out of the blue. I've no idea how many teeth she has, or should have, or shouldn't have. I also have no idea if I believe her, but if I've learned anything from the #1 child, these kids do not lie. Since she went to the dentist the other day I'm really thinking she knows wants she's talking about. So there you have it. Sarah has 20 teeth, and she knows it.

thing two:

Noah lets me go to my standing Thursday night dinner date with Lori. You didn't know that? yah, neither did I! We were talking about schedules and the alternating weekends, and sleep overs when I said something like, I'm not sure about staying overnight on friday night since you'll be gone at that school camping trip saturday night. ya know. I do like to see you on weekends. His reply? I like to see you too, but think about my dad. He only sees me every other weekend. and besides, I let you go out to dinner with Lori on Thursdays. Yah, okay son. Thanks for letting me do that. So very kind of you.

thing three:
Kate's crazy adorable, but she farts. Like kinda a lot. And ya know what, it kinda cracks me up. Is it wrong of me to put that here?

follow up

2009-03-04T21:04:00.000-08:00

Noah's school, and his teachers, and his classmates ROCKED that science fair! I know, sounds crazy huh? Aren't the required by law to be boring? Well this one wasn't.

The fourth grade projects were wonderful. Noah's was (is) really cool, for sure, but check out what some of these other kids did. This is only a handful of the projects. They were crazy good. Even Noah was excited to check out each and every display. (forgive the bad pics, fluorescent lights and my camera phone)

Prickly Pear Cactus. The quills are toothpicks, the flowers were beautifully constructed from tissue paper. I wish I could remember what the fruit was made of.

Palo Verde. Made of paper limbs and perfectly arranged fake flowers.

Mormon Tea. This one was exquisite. Super simple plant that could have been boring, but she presented it in its different regions. BRILLIANT!! I could hardly stand how amazing this one was.

Fairy Duster. This one was GORGEOUS. Bright and fun and well constructed.

Grey Wolf. wow! WOOOOW people. You probably can't tell, but the rock cliff jutted from the board like 8 inches with different levels and shelves. It looked exactly like the high rock formations here.

And finally, Noah in front of his display. He was over me by the end, I won't lie, so gone is his camera smile. I'll forgive him though, he's still not 100% (today was first day back at school this week) He actually fell asleep on the way home...at 6pm.

Science Night

2009-03-03T20:45:00.000-08:00

Those of us with kids, or know people with kids, or ever go to a craft store this time of year, know about Science Night. Happens every year. Elementary school kids buy up all the display boards and craft paint in town for their project. As I write this, I feel like I want to complain about this annual event. But I can't. I love it and have every year since Noah's first fair, 5 years ago.

This year's project involved a full on report with references and everything. I didn't have too much to do with that. It was mostly an in-class thing. But, after asking his teacher FACE TO FACE if it was okay, to which she assured me it was, I was thrilled I could type it all up for him. You see, this was not a typing project, but a science report. Super cool. I'm a little controlling when it comes to our computers. I realize I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. These children of mine get near a computer and Control Alt Delete just HAPPENS. suddenly - BOOM. reboot. I'm not a fan of rebooting. It's right up there with plunging the toilet. sometimes necessary, but NEVER fun.

I did, however, revil in the idea of working on 'the board'. Noah and I brainstormed for a couple evenings before heading out to Michael's for all the necessities. Fifty Five dollars later (okay 75, but I bought a couple things for me) We came home with everything we need (and then some) to make this:

The Pinyon Pine Tree. A tree that, unknown to either of us, grows in (among other places) Northern parts of Arizona. The coolest thing Noah learned about was the relationship between the tree and the Pinyon jay.

A small blue bird that depends on the pine tree for survival. The cool part, the tree depends on the bird just as much. Kinda like the Hippo and those little birds that cleans their backs. Or Pretty Woman. One needs the other.

We found a cute bird stamp (for 6 bucks that I will never use again. Anyone want/need a bird stamp? it's yours!) that worked perfectly. He was adamant about only making one bird. He was over me asking, "are you sure you don't want to add more than one bird???" Poor kid, has a mommy who so often forgets this is not her project!

the needles were fun. I cut them out a thousand slits in paper for him one evening while hanging with my gf (thanks for the company Lolly) Then, together, the stems got colored, trimmed and attached to the board. We rolled little strips of paper to form Pine Cones, which we both loved.

And Noah's favorite, and brain child, THE ROCKS! This is crucial for him because his tree requires rocky soil to grow. I've never seen him so excited to get a project going, all due to these rocks. I (still) suck with pictures, so you can't tell that the dark grey rock is rounded and projects quite a bit from the board. It, along with the needles, provide a huge 3D effect that Noah had to have (yah, like I didn't)

Working with Noah on a Project like this is so much fun. I love the brainstorming, storyboarding, problem solving, construction, editing, and final completion. We work well together and most of the time he knows just how to tell me to STEP ON BACK mom, this is my project. When I flip, and he doesn't know what to say it, I can see that I've lost it and am generally able to reel it back in. In the end, we have a great memory, he has a cool project, and he learned a boat load about the subject of his project, and the process of telling people about it. I'm no rocket scientist, but I'm thinking that's pretty much what it's all about.

Science night is tomorrow night so you know where I'll be, RIGHT? Hanging out with hundreds of other projects wondering why no one else's comes even remotely close to being as cool as Noah's. DUH!

m

Phil in the Box

2009-03-02T11:29:00.000-08:00

I'm at home today with a sick Noah Bear. He woke me at some ungodly hour last night with a cough. I feel bad now because I didn't get up with him and (I think) told him to get a class of water. In my defense, I was in the middle of a wackiest dream ever that had me woefully confused. It involved one of my architect clients, who wasn't an architect, but a Catholic Priest. Then, this architect/priest was also my date who insisted I wear his collar. He was kinda pushy about it, too. Crazy, because the architect is no were near pushy, and the same can be said for Priests. This was just the beginning too, and for sure the only parts I can pull out of my head and put into poorly constructed sentences. Still, with this short description, I'm sure you can see why I might have been a tad confused? yes?

geeez. Whoa! how was that for an "I digress" moment?

Back to the story. Home with Noah, but still had to get the girls together and off to their schools. On the way back I stopped at Jack in the Box for the crucial First Diet Coke of the Day. While trying to order I started laughing, making me look especially crazy. All because I saw this:

For some reason, this cracked me up. Come on, that's funny. Okay, okay...maybe it's just me. I've always loved Jack. This love affair has grown over years and years, getting stronger with each new ad campaign. This year's "hang in there Jack" is no exception. I mean this,

The broken nose? GOLDEN! I don't care who you are, that's funny right there. I can't keep from giggling, even now.

Back to the drive thru. I pull up feeling kinda bad that I was laughing while the cute headphone girl was taking my order. They kinda know me there (kinda? they invite me to Thanksgiving) and I wanted to make sure she didn't think I was making fun of her. We got to talking and she told me that there was a message on the JITB voicemail informing management that JACK WAS

BACK! After the obvious laugh about how far this ruse is going, I came home and found this:

HOORAY! because Phil in the Box would have just sucked donkey butt.

could Pluto be the skinny planet

2009-02-24T14:06:00.000-08:00

Peter, last night, on cooking a frozen meatloaf for dinner.

Him: "see, this is crazy. This package says it servers six adults"
Me: "and yet it only fed our three kids!"
Him: "right."
Me: "well that's probably right. You are supposed to only eat a playing card size of meat"
Him: "BAA! On what planet does that happen?"
Me: "skinny planet"
Him: "I'm not familar with that planet"

*snort*

If pluto were still a planet, it could be the skinny planet.

step away from the electronics

2009-02-21T20:26:00.000-08:00

Once again, I've been a bad bad blogger. So many reasons, none of which you really give a damn about, so I won't go there. Things have been happening around here, mainly with electronics.

So let's talk about electronics. The fun, yummy, pink phone kind, to be exact. My beloved HTC smartphone found the hard side of the floor the other day and died a horrible death. No biggie really. With the three kids (none of which have actually ever hurt my phone, it's always me) I have the insurance, so I knew what to expect with the insurance replacement.

or so I thought.

Man oh man, what a pain. First, the "upgrade" phone was a complete POS. HATED it. I could not get rid of it fast enough. My breaking point though, was trying to check my email. 20 minutes later, TEARS, and still no email, I gave up. That experience was made even more horrible when Peter walked in on me. "Are you crying? Michelle, it's a PHONE!"

yeah pal, BUT IT'S AN EXPENSIVE PHONE THAT DOESN'T GET MY EMAIL AND I HAVE TO GET MY EMAIL RIGHT NOW OR THE WORLD WILL IMPLODE ON ITSELF AND WE WILL ALL DIE BEFORE I KNOW WHO TAGGED ME TODAY ON FACEBOOK!!!!

Clearly, I'm insane.

After much running around checking on every new phone on the market and comparing rate plans, I landed on the G1 from T-mobile. THIS PHONE ROCKS PEOPLE. I expect it will get up and make me breakfast tomorrow, it's that good.

Like the iphone, there are a million applications you can download. and believe me, I've been downloading. yummy...i love downloading. One of the first things was a set of wallpapers. This little guy was my first pic. Just look at him, is he not the cutest thing ever?!?? I dare you to frown while looking at him. OMG, i love him.

Another app I downloaded was PicSay. It's this cute photo editor where you can add silly graphics and props and crazy stuff. I took the liberty of "enhancing" the already goofy picture of Peter in his fake glasses. Then, I added it in my Five.

he's super hot!

m

to things forgotten

2009-02-14T20:31:00.000-08:00

Is it a good sign, or a bad sign, that on Valentine's Day you and your hubby are in separate rooms; one playing video games, the other facebooking and doing website editing with her girlfriend? Me thinks that as long as both parties are happy that it's all good. At least I hope so, or else I'm in big trouble.

Peter and I aren't the sappy, horribly romantical type couple. Want proof? out of 6 anniversaries, we've forgotten 2. I was the first to forget too - our second one at that. We both forgot the 4th. Imagine the laugh we got when we both got an email from his sister wishing us a happy anniversary. DUDE, really? My sister-in-law remembered and WE BOTH forgot?! Actually, another SIL and our nephew remember too. That's just crazy.

I remember that 4th anniversary like it was yesterday. Well it was only 2 years ago, so not far off, but let's be real, I forgot our second one. Memory isn't my strong suit. But this I'm not likely to forget. I got this email and before I could call peter, the phone rang.
"Did you just get an email from Nancy?"
"yeah"
"we forgot again"
"yeah"
"happy anniversary babe. I love you"
"happy anniversary babe. I love you, too"
"think we'll remember next year"
"no"
"well at least we both forgot, so you can't be mad at me"
"pretty much. Oh and hon?"
"yeah?"
"be sure to thank Nance for the reminder"
"will do"

We did remember the next one though. And then the next one even. It's coming again in august, I'm pretty sure we won't go 3 for 3. So if someone wants to send me an email A DAY EARLY that would be fantastic. OH wait, I facebook now. Maybe the Internet will remind me.

Thank God for the Internet. and sisters in law.

Happy Valentine's Yo! Y'all rock!

m

Want a super easy Valentine Card?

2009-02-08T20:27:00.000-08:00

Here's the little valentine cards I did for the kids. damn cute aren't they?!?!

They measure 3" wide and 4" tall. I've put two on one 4x6 and are having them printed at Costco. So for 7 cents each (well not including the candy) the kids will have cute, custom, Valentine's cards with almost no work.

I don't have a finished one yet, just sent them to print, but the idea is to put a mini chocolate bar at the back, fold over the top of the card so it covers the end of the candy wrapper and staple together. EASY AS PIE!

If you want a jpeg of either one of these cards, or both, email me at michelle@papertherapy.com. If I knew how to make a fancy downloadable link thingie for y'all, i would. But I'm pretty much illiterate when it comes to that stuff so email will have to do. UNLESS someone wants to send me a tutorial. That would be super cool :)

shameless plug

2009-02-07T12:36:00.000-08:00

We've all said it, this economy sucks. Most of us, if not all, have taken a direct hit. If not with furloughs, lay-offs, or closing of doors, it's limited hours, reduced benefits and (in my case) intense pay cuts. Times are hard, for sure, and there's no end in sight.

People are scared. Businesses, not only banks, are holding onto their money. Stores, in an effort to manage cash flow, aren't buying inventory. Something I noticed yesterday while doing a big of shopping. One of my favorite stores, one with normally overflowing stock, had aisles wide from entire rows of displays removed. It was almost eerie. No, it was eerie.

My personal gig has taken a hit too. Book sales, both wholesale and retail, are stagnant (yes, I'm going there) This isn't my lively hood, so it's not like we aren't able to put food on the table, so that's good. But I wouldn't mind fulfilling an order or two :)

So I'm running a sale.

During this month of love I am offering

20% off plus $1.99 s/h

Shameless post, I know. Trying to get something going. Don't do it for me. Do it for the economy. Yeah - the economy - that's the ticket! haha

miscommunication

2009-01-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

Wanna pop in here and share a quick little exchange I had with the girls the other day. It's probably only funny to me, but so what. I like it :)

Me (and the end of a phone call): "hey bro? I gotta run! love you!"
Kate: me wanna run!
Me: what???
Kate: Me wanna go run too.
Me: You want to go on a what? a run??? what? OH! no....Mommy isn't going on a run"
Kate: ME WANT TO RUN!
Kate: Honey, I. am. not. running. anywhere. I was just telling Uncle Mike goodbye.
Sarah (walking in): You guys are going on a run?! I WANT TO GO TOO!

Me: ***thinking*** SERIOUSLY GIRLS, WHEN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MOMMY RUN ANYWHERE!!!???

Me: yeah okay girls. no running right now. let's go to school, you can run there!
girls: OKAY MOMMY!

PHEW. close one. I was this close to taking a jog. And everyone knows...I own a car.

m

pledge

2009-01-23T21:55:00.000-08:00

It's like almost 11pm on Friday and I'm sitting here, alone, listening to Billy Squier and hoping my heart doesn't burst and make a mess of my freshly cleaned house. today/tonight has been a pretty kick ass time for little ole me. I've been trying to figure out a super cool "dooce"-ish way to talk about how I've been feeling lately and, well, nothings come to me. Pretty much because I'm not heather Armstrong, and I won't ever be. Pretty much because, let's face it, I'm not her. I am me. Michelle. And, as much as I don't believe it. as much as I doubt myself, fact remains, I'm okay. maybe even, GASP, cool. . . . . . . . shut it!

Here's the thing. I believe in the idea that you can judge a person by the company they keep. There has been plenty people I've given the benefit of the doubt solely because they knew people I knew were okay. So you would think that I would apply that to my own life and believe in myself, right? But, here's the thing. I don't. I have to force myself to believe it. i have to REMIND myself that I have KICK ASS friends and, therefore, MUST be (semi) cool , by association. But did you see that? I did it just now. Those parenthesis. ^ up there. That's me talking myself out of what I'm trying to convince my brain of believing. that's me saying "i should believe I'm cool because I have cool friends" when in reality I'm a self doubting, insecure, mess.

and then I wonder, are we all a self-doubting, insecure, mess?

the more I listen to people, the harder I dig to get to the truth, the less I assume what others are thinking. Everyday I realize that we are all in the same, EXACT, boat. We all lay in bed at night thinking "why did I eat that?", "did I really say that!!?", "did I say something that made her not call", "have I worked hard enough to keep my job?", "am I good enough?" "am I good enough?"

How do we get past that? "Am I good enough?" I know you do it. I know you do because, well, you.... you are....human, and (I've decided/learned) that we all question ourselves. Like, endlessly.

In this year of change, in this time with Obama and shit, I'm played lemming and fallen for this "be change' campaign. Ya, whatever. I'm a skeptic (yeah, I said it) but in the spirit of change I've decided to reflect on myself. I can see that this is time to fix myself. I mean I might as well make some attempt at making a difference, right? So here's my Pledge. I pledge to believe in myself. I will believe that I ROCK. I will believe that because my parents rocked and that they taught me well. I will believe because all the people I know are NOT wrong about me. I will believe that even thought my children are little mini-me's, it's impossible for them to be any cooler! I will believe because my husband is the single coolest person on the planet, and he things the same of me. I believe because I am a child of God and He knows what He's doing.

I pledge to believe, IN ME. In that the possibilities are endless. I will love more. Trust more. Do more. Change more. Believe more. Gossip less. Hate less. Doubt less. Judge Less.

Love more. hate less.

that is my pledge. what's yours?

m

Big Game

2009-01-18T09:49:00.000-08:00

Today is a big day for (us) Arizona football fans. I'm normally not one to lament about being somewhere I'm not, but today I gotta say, I would LOVE to be here:

But I know a few people who ARE GOING! So I'll be living through them. Thank God for cell phones and texting. It's going to feel like I'm there!

m

Hair

2009-01-16T13:45:00.000-08:00

Both girls got their hairsies cut the other day. See how cute they are?

all together now... aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh....

But before this, I had a proud mom moment and did Kate's hair in ponies. I usually suck at this so I was all proud when I got them even are more symetrical than not.

I took a picture to document this proud day.

I know, right? It's horrible. I had to have been dropped on my head as a child.

meet my husband, the comedian

2009-01-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

My man is blind. Which, now that I think about it, makes me wonder if he has a clue what I look like. I know he doesn't know what color my eyes are. He thinks they are blue. They are not, they're green. It's an ongoing joke I won't let him ever live down. But that's another post. This one is about his eyesight.

So, he's blind and with every eyeglass-wearing person, he needs new spectacles every few years. Today was that blessed day. I asked if I go with him to vote on the new pair. He shot me down without a second thought, "I've been doing this since I was 16, Michelle. I can handle it" Yeah yeah, but I don't wear glasses every day so it's cool to me. Freaking humor me, man. But Nope. He didn't want me to tag along. I called him a name I can't say here. Starts with F, ends with head. Some day I'll tell the story about that 'term of endearment', too.

Let me tell you something about Peter. He's is killer funny. The man cracks me up. Everyone wants to find that person who makes them laugh, right? I know I always did. I dated many funny guys. Some were even like seriously stand up comedian funny. But what made it different with Peter is he thinks I'm killer funny too. We're like a matched set of really super funny people - to each other. If no one else ever cracks a smile over us, it's cool. We'll be kicking back laughing out our own damn selves.

This smarty pants husband of mine comes walking in with these on, and asks me what I think.

seriously? we're close. soul mates (hurl) even. But in those first few seconds of looking at him I didn't think I could tell him that those were quite possibly the ugliest pair of glasses ever made. How do you tell someone that? "oh yes dear, those silver dollar sized, amber colored, way too narrow, BI-focal glasses look horrible, dear."

Thank God he let me off the hook quickly. He told me that they - quite literally - came from the "ugly box" of glasses. Apparently, Peter told his Dr. about my desire to 'help' with this process and they devised this plan to show up with the nastiest part of glasses in the free world. Possibly on the planet.

I called him the F slash head name and then peed my pants with laughter. His real glasses will be here next week.

m

well it's not a post about grocery shopping

2009-01-12T16:00:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to blog...meaning to and meaning to and I just can't think of anything really blog worthy to talk about. Even the random crap that I usually like has left me bored. I just don't know what to do about it. So I'm just gonna sit here and try to remember some of the things that have flashed through my mind, or accomplished, or not accomplished over the past week.

I'm going to start with Facebook. I joined last weekend at the INSISTENCE of Beth and Kaelene. Thanks girls, it is pretty cool. You were right! Neat to see what everyone is up to in the world outside my current world (meaning High school). Been a little roller coaster for me though. On many levels it's just plain strange to me. Not strange/bad, strange/different.

The first thing I noticed was the intimacy of facebook over say, Twitter, or here even. I love twitter but didn't realize that when I said something there is was just kinda out there. Thrown aimlessly for the Internet to see, or not see. I've realized just how anonymous twitter is for me. Or really how much I liked that anonymity. Facebook isn't like that. These are people I know. Some I talk to every day, some sit next to me all day, some I grew up with and know all the shit I did as a kid. It's intimate, personal. And with that comes some additional responsibility and accountability.

Like sometimes I feel like I would be wasting their time if I write completely useless shit. That could be my own self doubt coming to the surface, or maybe I need to find a filter. who knows? I want to be me, and lord knows, useless dribble is pretty much me. But I also want to be considerate, semi-funny, and for sure not a complete bore. so there's a bit of a learning curve on what to say where, and to really feel comfortable to be myself.

Another thing I've realized is how much I left behind when I up and moved from my home town to come to school in AZ. When it was time for me to move here to Tempe, I just moved. I didn't look back. Not once. No forwarding address, few goodbyes, just a long drive with my dad to a brand new place. I didn't know a soul. Didn't have a job, or an apartment, or a clue. In three days I found a place to live, got a roommate, landed a job, had a new school, watched my Dad drive away, and was all alone. But I wasn't alone. Everyone else was in the same place, doing the same exact thing. And no one knew me. I could start over. And that's exactly what I did. I started over.

Thing is, those people I left. Those friends. They pretty much kicked ass. I'm not sure why I needed to start over, or what I was running from, but I do know it certainly wasn't those people. It was more the place, and what I felt that place held for me at that moment. So that's something I've missed out by leaving - those people. Facebook as allowed me to take a peek into their lives so far and - not surprisingly - be in awe at their accomplishments, their struggles, their energy, their overall coolness. It's been pretty kick ass, even if I haven't been a part of it.

Okay, wow. didn't mean to get all deep there. I thought this would flow into my first shopping experience at Sprouts. I'll have to save that for another day. Cuz that's kinda a funky place with a totally different mood/vibe than I'm (apparently) in right now.

m

love my peeps, just not the marshmellow kind

2009-01-04T19:12:00.000-08:00

This weekend has been kinda busy, especially today, when I got a crazy hair and decided to take down all the Christmas decorations. Even the Santa's outside, Beth. :) I haven't put anything back up so the house looks really strange. It's going to have to wait until tomorrow, though, cuz I'm beat! But it feels good to have it (almost all the way) done.

I joined facebook this weekend, too. already addicted. The newness better fade quickly or I'll alienate all my 'new' friends before the week is out. Nothing like a newbie huh?!

Beth , Kaelene and I scrapbooked at Paper Vineyard last night. Had a blast!!! We went to Walmart after - my all time favorite place (you can hear the sarcasm right?) so I could pick some up crap (no floor cleaner stalker guy or bitch fights Kerry, thank god!) and I ran across this aisle.

Seriously, Valentine's Day. Can we get a week's break from the holiday merchandising? This aisle was literally nauseating it was so huge. Pink from floor to ceiling and 50 feet deep with this:

GIGANTIC sign ever so gently reminding you to show your love for your family with heart shaped candy or else they'll get bitter and resentful and divorce your ass for a candy maker.

As I walked away from the football field of pink I let it go. I mean V-day is only 5 weeks away, or there abouts. I could get my candy now, eat it, and still have time to buy more for Peter. Too bad it'll be stale!

But then...oh then...we got to the front and Beth saw this.

That's Easter candy my friends. EASTER! This is a crappy picture, at best, so if you don't believe me, I took another.

This is a crappy picture, at best, so if you don't believe me, I took another.

no doubt about it, that's a creme egg.

While I love the Cadbury Creme Egg more than the average Joe, and I'm tickled that I won't have to wait until after Lent to have (a super stale) one, I am fearful that I won't make the 3+ months of looking at hollow Easter bunnies and Peeps. Someone make get hurt. I'm guessing it'll be the Peeps.

another video

2008-12-31T23:59:00.000-08:00

oh quit! I'll get bored of this movie maker soon. Until then...a little countdown to the new year, and a little look back.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Christmas pics after Christmas

2008-12-29T22:01:00.000-08:00

Here are some random pictures I've taken over the last couple weeks. I've not been able to post them because, well let's face it, I'm completely lazy. Then I got a raging cold and couldn't do anything. I'm on the mend now, wide awake, and hopped on B12, so I figured I'd blog a little blog.

I did prove something this year, in regards to being sicky. I get a cold every stinking year and I've always thought it's because i go and go and go and the cold is my body's way of saying STOP IT MORON. but this year I did nothing. NOTHING. and I still got that dumb cold. and let me tell ya, decorating the tree (including the lights), wrapping every single present, and SHOPPING for the hubby on CHRISTMAS EVE with a cold, sucks ass. If I'm going to get a cold I might as well do something before hand so at least I'm not trying to finish everything while I'm trying to plan my own funeral.

But I digress. Back to pictures. I saw this cute wreathe at Starbucks at the mall last week. Yes, I did stop in the middle of everything and snap a picture. I didn't even care who took notice. The wreathe is that cute. no?

Oh! wait! If you can't tell, those are balls of yard up in there y'all! CLEVER right?! Maybe I'm going back to my childhood with my mom who was an avid knitter. I can't tell you how many skeins of yard I've balled up in my life. So this gives me warm fuzzies, the same way chocolate milk or smores might. I think my mom actually had a contraption to aide in this task. I could be wrong there.

Kate's daycare has a Christmas program every year. It's always consisted of a half an hour of super cuteness for most kids (mine included of course) but there is always those few who are completely over it. The idea of singing in front of 50 adults and/or wearing any sort of costume is simple out of the question. This results in the typical crying and screaming also known as a TANTRUM.

I've always loved this preschool concert, mostly because of the half hour part (yes I said it) but this year they changed it up and did a dinner with Santa thing. We all brought pizza and a small unisex toy and the school provided drinks and desserts (of which I had too many!) Then Santa came for a photo op and to hand out (the provided) gifts. MY KIDS LOVED THIS!!!

Noah even VOLUNTARILY wore the suit I got him for his presentation a few weeks earlier. I don't have a single picture from that event that's decent enough to post. I still don't have a clue how to take a good picture in low light, we've gone over that, right? Trust me, he was crazy handsome!

I do have a photo of the cute cookies one of the teachers made. You've seen them on Lorie's blog I'm sure, and Martha's but here's a pic of one in real life :) They are delicious!!

Then again, I never met a sugar cookie that I didn't like.

I'm in the middle of organizing 10 years of pictures. Be prepared for some looking back. :)

m

i love everything

2008-12-25T22:05:00.000-08:00

today rocked. for many, many reasons. some obvious, some not so much. Here are 3 reasons it totally kicked butt! Well 4 if you count the tree ;)

I hope your day rocked!

m

(edited to hopefully fix the red x problemo. sorry Kdawg)

T10 and counting

2008-12-24T22:46:00.000-08:00

10 minutes till midnight and I'm about as ready as I'm going to be. I'm forgetting something (not the necklaces! Thanks for the reminder(s) Beth) but whatever it is it'll have to be okay. I need to be done.

I was going to post a crazy Barenaked Ladies song about Elves, but decided to go a bit more traditional. Or at least as traditional as BNL can be. Sorry Lisa, I had to.

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!!!! i love you people!

m

move over speilberg

2008-12-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

There's a new sheriff in town :)

this is my first video ever. Sarah's first day of school.

I love it!

the apple and the tree

2008-12-20T22:00:00.000-08:00

My dad, God rest his soul, was the biggest pain in the ass at Christmas. As if he wasn't the single hardest person to buy for, the minute anyone would think of something he might like he'd duck out and buy it for himself. DUDE! come on! Give a girl a break. I can only handle so many trips to Ace hardware before I lose my mind - for the love of all that's holy, STOP BUYING CRAP DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS MAN!!!

Oh how I wish it were that simple. You see, I am my father. Ever since I could remember, my dad and I would marvel at our similarities. How we cross our arms left over right, how our thumbs don't bend back like mom's or my brother's, how our noses are both crooked even though his was broken and mine wasn't, how we both lean back and rest our head in our finger laced hands. It shouldn't be a surprise to find myself at the business end of a sales counter days before Christmas.

Yesterday was "Santa better get his sweet ass in gear and buy some presents" day. Peter and I hooked up at lunch with plans to hit the mall. Something I don't recommend unless absolutely necessary! Good lord we waited way too long, and the mall was INSANE, but it had to be done. We had nothing for these children. NOTHING! On the way we stopped at Circuit City to check out the going out of business sale cuz we're good parents like that and why not check out some electronics for ourselves on the afternoon we've slated to buy for the kids? RIGHT? There could be a gigantic plasma that needs a home in our bedroom so mommy and daddy can watch "movies" during our "nap" time. These are things that make mommies and daddies happy. Everyone knows that if mommy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, right? yeah, thanks for that validation Dr. Phil.

Strolling through the store I found, fell in love, and subsequently mated with, a wide screen laptop. After much deliberation, we (read peter) decided we (again, read peter!) should wait till we did the taxes and then get me one that wasn't a floor model. This would be fine for normal people, but I'm not normal like AT ALL and wanted it now!! Have we not covered this??? But he's brilliant and I trust him. He's just the right amount of practical and I left believing I would get my computer before technology advanced so far that chips were implanted in your forehead rendering laptops as antiquated as fax machines.

I thought that way for exactly seventeen and a half hours. Right until the store opened again the next day. I drug my nappy headed, bra less self with two girls in tow to the store at 9:59 am, credit card in hand. I walked in, found the laptop, licked the top of it and requested the nice girl to unlock it so I could consummate our relationship. 12 minutes later I was the proud owner, and wife, to this amazing machine.

I know what you're thinking. I should have waited so Peter could to buy it for me for Christmas. I promise you, there was no way in hell he was going to do that. I never know what he's going to buy me, but I always know what he's not going to buy me. and this, my friends, was one thing he was never going to buy me for Christmas. OH NO NO NO! Promise. Call him if you don't believe me. Wasn't going to happen.

Besides, we'd already gotten each other our present. We were at Costco a couple weeks ago and ran into a road show. After a couple longing glances at this presentation we went for it and spurgled on the most romantic gift of all time!

wait

for

it......

the Little Giant ladder system. As I said before, I shit you not. and no, neither of us have filed papers. We're both delighted with this purchase. I'm sitting in my big chair, laptop in place, blogging about it to prove it. And I can't even imagine how proud of me my daddy must be right now.

m

talk of angels

2008-12-17T12:00:00.000-08:00

Can y'all endure one more story of angels and dead people? No? well move along then. I'm telling this one! :)

My mom collected bears. Like me, she loved lots and lots of things. I definitely came by my love of collecting things honestly. Unlike me, she was able to restrict her collection to teddy bears. And not just any ole bear, she had rules. They had to be, FIRST AND FOREMOST, soft. Squishy soft and with soft fur. That was the first test. Then they had to have a tail. she never bought a bear that she didn't flip over and check its buttocks, taking off clothes in necessary. Finally, it had to have a cute little face. It was like they spoke to her, asking to be taken in to her loving home. She obliged hundreds upon hundreds of bears. Us kids did our fair share of 'saving' bears from cold and lonely store shelves. I don't remember a birthday, mother's day, or Christmas where I didn't give her at least one bear. Poor woman was never surprised.

Many times since her passing I've felt urged to purchase the random bear. Usually while Christmas or birthday shopping for the kids. It's a strange feeling, being nudged to pick up, inspect and purchase a stuffed animal for my kids that's always held such a special spot in my heart. I've never ignored this urge, however. I figure, if my mom wants to talk to me through bears, so be it. I'll listen.

A few years ago, while shopping at my church's Christmas boutique I was, once again, urged to buy something. This time an angel. I'd learned not to ignore being pushed toward something so I just went with it and bought the thing. I mean what could it hurt, she was cute after all. She's the one on the left.

The following year I was, again, urged to buy angels. This time it was Christmas ornaments. I bought like a dozen or so adorable angels and gave them to family and friends. A couple of you probably remember those.

This new tradition continued into the next year when I picked up, at the insistence of my mother, these three lovies.

Usually I scatter all my little painted angels throughout the house. This year I changed it up and put them all together in the family room. I pointed them out to Peter, who most certainly would not have noticed them sitting together in all their cuteness. He took a quick glance and responded with, "cool, my mom collected angels"

WHAT???!?!? How did I not know that? She loved hummingbirds and butterflies. angels? really?

It's Peter's mom. How freaking cool is that!?!?!

So Jeanne, I'm listening. Thanks for the angels - I love them! And yes, I'll go back and get this year's selection. The tree topper from Kirkland Home that I passed on the other day. I didn't realize I needed a new tree topper. :)

when cups get cold

2008-12-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

Just one picture today and a quick blurb. Been super busy. Not sure with what, though. It's not like I've been shopping. Crap, I haven't even starting thinking about shopping. Yeah, I'm gonna pay for that one.

This is a real cup in our office, all hooked up with its own polka dotted cozy. seriously? it's not like it even has liquid in it. Just standard ole candy canes. But it's ready for the blistering cold of an Arizona winter. All 50 degrees of it.

It is stinking cute though, and it does make me smile. kinda a lot actually :)

m

Etsy stroll

2008-12-11T20:40:00.000-08:00

Took a little Etsy stroll tonight. Something I like to do to find more stuff I don't need but convince myself I can't live without. Like 3D metal M's. Sometimes I just can't help myself.

Today's search was simple. Turtles. My all time favorite animal. I love many animals. Elephants, hippos, penguins, bunnys, pandas, manatees, polar bears pigskittensbabybirdsgiraffesrhinossnowleopardslkajsdlfjasldkfjljasld YOU NAME IT. I've probably wanted to start a collection. But from a very young age, as far back as I can remember (HEY! shut up now..don't go there!) I've loved turtles.

This search was fun for me. Some made me laugh. One even made me blush. So I thought I'd blog about it.

Meet Dilbert the daydreaming turtle
I love him. L.O.V.E. I might have to buy him just so I know he's got a good, loving home to keep his lampwork beaded self warm.

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Next is an entire cast of sea creatures. Hard to say which is my favorite here. History would say it's the turtle for sure. But look at that crab. and the octopus. Are you kidding me??? CUTENESS. But that whale. ah that whale...in all his uber big round head and short, skinny tail. I think I love him best. If my kids wouldn't destroy these creatures in minutes flat they would be living here!

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I'm going to take it easy with This guy And by guy, I mean GUY! Holy crap is this show PG???

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Now bear with me on this one. I don't mean to poke fun at any artist. We all have our place in this glorious world, but this guy kinda makes me panic. He's cute n'all, what turtle isn't? but it's kinda like he's got a killer whale chasing his ass and he's swimming for his life. wow! and that's all I can say about that, I can already feel myself hyperventilating.

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I'm so glad I put myself on mini album probation before I found this adorable little thing. Had I not I'd have a dozen of these guys lying around...not being done.

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And finally, the cross collectible of all time. A turtle on a box. This is the best of both worlds for me. BRILLIANT! This combination marries my two deepest loves - boxes and turtles. Just looking at this makes my mouth water and my hands shake. seriously, I wish I was kidding. Put a slice of pizza, a chocolate bar and a beer in that box and I am in heaven people. HEAVEN! And wust wook at wis wace...so woveable and swuggly. *SLAP* oh sorry about that, momentary loss of self control.

This guy I might really have to buy.

well that didn't take long

2008-12-09T13:08:00.000-08:00

Today started out great! I love it when everyone, including me, wakes up with a smile on their face. Who am i kidding, If I'm the only one in a good mood it's a good day.

After everyone else was gone, and I knew Sarah was awake enough for company, I snuck in her room and whispered, "good morning." She smiled back, "good morning" she replied with that cute little Sarah smile. Good, I think to myself, she's in a good mood. Not always a given, especially in the morning! So I go back to my routine when I hear her calling, err bellowing, from her room. Great, I think to myself, she's not in a good mood. I peek my head through the closed door - expecting the worst - to find her sitting there, still with that huge smile, anxious for my arrival. "Good morning Master" she says.

That's from Kung Foo Panda. Now, ask yourself, Is that too much TV? or just the right amount???!!!

Speaking of Sarah, that cuteness balances out her naughtiness. Remember
this post by Beth about her sneaky, candy stealing boy? I called it in my comment to her. I said (in part), "Mine aren't that clever, yet, though." How well do I know my girls?

Last Saturday, only one day after Beth's post, my adorable girls and their little friend Ethan got into the Advent calenders. when I say got into them, I mean they opened every window on every calender, not leaving a trace of chocolate. I gotta give it to them. They might have done it in plain sight, but they were stealthy as all get out while doing it because no one heard a thing. They actually made the exact right amount of noise the entire time. None of those something-must-be-going-on-it's-too-quiet-in-here moments for the entire day. Just perfect children, or so we thought.

We hadn't even done the 4th day yet, so between the 3 of them they ate 66 candies!!! little shits.

I wish I'd gotten a picture of the calenders on the walls, with every single door open, barren of chocolate, but I was so ticked off I pulled them down all in a huff. What really got me is one of them wasn't even theirs! Noah was with his dad and they ate his too. little shits - have I said that yet? Noah's often complained that they raid everything of his while he's gone, maybe the boy has a point.

So we are getting noah a replacement. The girls aren't getting another one. We are still going to all get together and watch noah open his window, see what's behind the treat, and enjoy his sweet goodness. All while the girls stand there watching. I'm a meanie.

m

what not to eat

2008-12-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere that one should never blog about her lunch. Or any meal for that matter. No one cares about what anyone else had to eat, no matter fascinating or funny they are. I'm neither of those things so blogging about food would be like a triple whammy no-no for me.

so, nah. This post isn't going to be what I did eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but of what I didn't eat. You see, this not eating everything in sight is semi-big for me because I'm not as much semi-big as I am gigantic-big, And. Well. Something. Must. Be. Done! Pronto!

I'm on day 7 of my new found don't-have-dessert-after-every-meal way of life. yes, I said, "way of life" because I'm like freaking old now and am thinking I've got so much to lose that it'll take the rest of my life so might as well just go with the flow. Calling this a diet just wouldn't be doing it justice, ya know?

anyway, day 7. It's been pretty good. I've twittered about some of the harder moments. I could have burned that place down today with complaints though. Christmas is officially here. I can tell because only at Christmas do the treats overflow from the break room to their own full sized TABLE. A TABLE PEOPLE!! not a measly counter. A full size fold up table - full of crap. Right now there's an abundance of choices, here on this forth day of December:
A dozen donuts,
a Costco sized fruit pie, apple I think,
a rather large tin of assorted cookies from home cookies.com,
half a plate of double chocolate brownies
a cup of starbursts (okay that's random!)
and a coffee cup full of candy canes.

THIS IS ONLY DAY 4 PEOPLE!!!!
OH! And what's already kicked the bucket?
a Costco lemon bundt cake - the stuff heaven is made of.
half a dozen specialty muffins
the first half of the plate of double chocolate brownies.

But what have I had, you ask? 1/2 a brownie!!!! that's it!

Oh shit, I did eat some circus animal cookies they other day. But they are like irresistible and I had to get them out of the house. I was cleaning. What? I couldn't just throw them away, they are starving people in Africa.

aw damn, I started this off by saying that no one should talk about what they ate for lunch and here I did exactly that. Shame on me. Let's change gears to what I might have eaten this week had I lived with my old too-much-is-never-enough-you-know-you-won't-puke-so-go-ahead manta.

A quarter of everything in the lists above, minus the pie. oh and the brownies and lemon cake. I would have finished off at least a half of those bad boys! for reals!

m

just cuz

2008-12-03T12:25:00.000-08:00

I've done this one but thought I would do it again and then maybe compare.

Where is your mobile phone? desk
Where is your significant other? work
Your hair colour? dyed
Your mother? shelf
Your father? shelf
Your favourite thing? laughing
Your dream last night? wacked
Your dream goal? fit
The room you're in? cubicle
Your hobby? scrapbooking
Your fear? heights
Where do you want to be in 6 years? living
Where were you last night? driving
What you're not? thin
One of your wish-list items? laptop
Where you grew up? Northern California
The last thing you did? ate
What are you wearing? clothes
Your TV? big
Your pets? gone
Your computer? slow
Your mood? clear
Missing someone? yup!
Your car? parked
Something you're not wearing? socks
Favourite shop? target
Your summer? standard
Love someone? many!
Your favourite colour? pink
When is the last time you laughed? lunch
When is the last time you cried? yesterday

And this, just for fun, cuz noah hasn't had much time here cracking us up. but that doesn't mean he's not funny as hell.

Noah with his fauxhawk and rockstar hands (his hair has been cut since this pic) and Sarah being a cheese ball. Heaven forbid I snap a picture that doesn't have her in it :)

m

Anniversaries and Angels

2008-12-02T07:00:00.000-08:00

I've been sitting here staring at a flashing cursor and mocking keyboard for nearly an hour. I don't know what to say about today, December 1st. I have these thoughts bouncing around my brain - wanting to come out, but, at best, colliding with each other and multiplying. Is that fusion? fission? either way, it's compli-freaking-cated up in there.

anyway. a year ago today my brother and I became orphans after our father passed away. It's been a year of firsts, that essentially ended last week with Thanksgiving dinner. Even though he died many days after last Thanksgiving, that day was pretty much the last day I remember thinking he was going to be okay. The next day everything changed and I knew he was going to die. It marked the beginning of the end.

It's been a crazy year. Mostly good. Some bad. A little bit very bad. But really, mostly good. And we've stuck it out. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? I've found, though, that in my dad's passing, I've missed my mom more. He was my conduit to her. He was the only person who I talked to every day who really knew her. I took for grated that I could always ask him when I wondered what Mom might think.

I leaned on her a lot, more and more as I got older. She was an amazingly diverse person and I learned as a young adult to never assume what she was going to say or believe on any subject. She was full of surprises and always made me really think about things. We agreed on many things, which was always cool, but there were so many times she surprised me with a different point of view. Once she was gone I realized quickly how much I missed discovering her thoughts on any myriad of subjects. She was always educated, passionate, well spoken and sincere about everything, big or small.

You see now why I've been sitting here so long? These thoughts flood my mind. I start with my dad, and everything quickly swings to my mom. That's not because I wasn't close to him. Shit, I am him. We were super close. Everything I love, and hate, about myself I got from him. As soon as I was allowed to stay up late, you could find us in the living room well into the night, talking about life, and God, and nothing and everything. I knew him because I am him. So when I miss him a mirror isn't too far away, and there he is.

One of the cooler things that's happened this year is my mom started visiting me again. I thank my daddy for that. I'd told him the story of her (and my mother in law) visiting me right after Sarah was born. Neither of them were able to meet her, but I could feel them there, watching over her. Racing past my bedroom door. At first it scared me and I finally asked them to stop. And they did. He knew how much I regretted asking that. I believe he convinced them it was okay, that I wouldn't be afraid this time, and that they should come back to see the kids, because once again I can feel them here. And this time, I say HI.

He doesn't hang around much. Not the manly thing to do I suppose, be the lurking angel! HA! I like to think he still up there asking all these questions, getting all the answers, that we'd talked about all those late nights. And besides, he doesn't have to stop by. My house is covered in mirrors, so it's not hard to see him any time I want.

m

how YOU doin?

2008-12-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

this isn't nearly as good ad the "who's bill" conversation, but I still want to get it written down while I remember it. This convo happened in the car this weekend.

Me: Sarah, what cha'doin?
Sarah: good.
Me: No, WHAT are you doing?
Sarah: GOOD.
Me: Sarah, that's the answer to how are you doing. I am asking you what you are doing. Like, are you playing basketball? Or sleeping? Or driving in the car? get it?
Sarah: Yes.
Me: So sarah, what are you doing?
Sarah: Sitting.
Me: cool. and HOW are you doing?
Sarah: Sitting.

The girl totally cracks me up!

m

PHEW!

2008-11-30T21:29:00.000-08:00

***edited to add pictures***

wow. That was a fun 4 day holiday. Seems like I did a lot. Here's a quick run down, in no particular order.

- Christmas threw up in my house, and it had snowmen and white lights for lunch. I'll have pictures soon. Like when I remember to take pictures during the day cuz I REALLY SUCK at night pictures.

The snowman wall. Only snowmen, nothing else. I have issues.

This doesn't look like many lights but that's because I suck. Peter did a kick ass job, as usual, on the house. I love it.

A new addition to the M household. I love them!

I can't forget about the Santa's They are more spread out.

- I rearranged our family room a little bit. Took out the fish tank, hung the curtains I've had for 2 years, arranged this huge clock and framed pictures I've had for a year, and basically gave the room a little face lift without spending any (more) money.

Here are the clocks. You can't tell how big or high this is. But if you remember this post you might have a better frame of reference. that top clock is like hugh! The bottom of it is higher than the top of my entertainment unit. That's up there and I totally love it!!!!

- I am extending the lifted sale through Cyber Monday. woo hoo for sales!

- I've finalized the project I've been working on for the free class. Still lots to do, like take a million pictures on the construction process and write up everything. But the creative part is done and that's a fantastic feeling.

- okay...I'm hesitant to even write this here, but what the hell, I think I'm FINALLY over being a fat ass and am ready to do something about it. This is going to be a MASSIVE undertaking, cuz I pretty much could be cut in half and still be bigger than most of my friends (skinny bitches! haha) but something must be done. I've started really reeeeeeeeally slow. Like giving up desserts after every meal. And yes, confession time, I've taken to having something sweet like all the time, even after breakfast. and YES - THAT'S freaking CRAZY - but true! So be prepared to hear about that from time to time.

and finally - We had a fantastic Thanksgiving. My bro came over as did our baseball friends who have 2 kids, and then one of peter's collegues and his wife. It was a blast having so many people around. I hope y'all had a great holiday!!!

m

getting in the spirit

2008-11-26T10:35:00.001-08:00

Since it's officially the holidays and all,

and it's actually raining and FINALLY not feeling all summertimeish outside,

and I'm feeling like I wanna sell a book, or maybe two even,

and I messed with a new ad just for y'all,

I'm having a big ole sale on my one little product.

Thru the weekend there's 25% off the book AND free shipping.

Happy Thanksgiving,

and happy Black Friday,

and happy food hangover,

and happy finally not hot outside,

and happy 4-day weekend,

and happy cute kids saying cute things,

and happy clean house with new curtains,

and happy friends coming over (and cooking most of the dinner)

and happy my mom starting "visiting" me again,

and happy free lifted class coming up,

and happy not being sicky today,

and happy not enough days until Christmas,

and happy just to be happy,

YO!

talking talking talking

2008-11-24T12:26:00.001-08:00

this is a post I wrote a couple months ago. I kinda felt bad so didn't post it. Then. I forgot all about it. I remembered it when we had a similar weekend with Sarah and figured WHAT THE HECK someone might know what I'm talking about.

Noah:good morning mom. how are you or you are sick that's too bad are we going to your work today - oh not for a while - you are meeting with the new cleaning person today - that's cool is she going to babysit too oh wait I don't need a babysitter anymore

Me: yes you do

Noah: no I just need someone to watch me so - when is she going to be - here are we staying or going to your work - can I have some cereal and this candy - maybe I could have this candy just this one time cuz you're sick and you can't eat it - are you feeling better now mom can I do anything

Me: kill me

Noah: what? what did you say I didn't hear you - are you okay - why are you putting those covers over your head don't you have to get up to meet the cleaning lady - are we going to work if you feel that bad you don't have to go to work - you need to have a glass of water

Me: noah let me get the door

Noah: okay I'll just go into my room and clean up what you told me to clean up like a million times but I ignored you because you were ready to die and I knew you wouldn't do anything but curl up on the coach and ask for your maker to take you whatever that means what does that mean mom - when are we going to your work

Me: I am taking a shower

Noah: okay I'll talk to Darbie.

Darbie: hello how are yo---

Noah: this is my room are you cleaning my room this goes here and that goes there and I have a game tonight and it rained a lot last night so it might get cancelled and I think it will because it's going to rain today and right now and it might rain in my room but you are here cleaning so you can just clean that rain right up those are my practice pants and shirt oh good you found my orange one

Me: noah get it the car, we are going to work

Noah: can we stop at mcdonalds can I have pancakes I know I usually get a biscuit like you but I just want pancakes today how long are we going to be at work are we staying long where are we going to eat lunch

Me: noah. hon. we won't be there long. I'm sick, remember. I will go as fast as I can. okay?

Noah: okay mom I understand we'll go fast how long is fast should we think about lunch

Me: let me do this work now. go outside and play

Noah: okay hello cars hello trees hello bird hello BINGO yellow car blah blah blah blah blah blah................

an hour later

Me: Noah let's go.

Noah: wow that was fast you were only there for like an hour I didn't know we were going to be there that long that was fast are we going home now I just love this blue bat I used to use the yellow one the slugger but now I use this one or maybe I should use the blue one I hit a lot with it see mom you can see all the hits I've gotten off it the letters are coming off

Me: I am going to bed noah.

Noah. okay I'll stay out here.....blah blah blah blah hello darbie still cleaing this is my blue bat blah blah blah blah blah I love this cartoon yogi is so cool he's the smartest bear of them all and then there's boo boo blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I hit so much with this blue bat.

Me: I need food. let's go.

Noah: wow mom you don't look so good do you feel okay where are we goi---mom? am I talking a lot today?

praise the sweet Lord Jesus he is listening to himself

Me: yes noah, actually you are.

Noah: well I'm just excited about this blue bat this bat is my favorite bat and I am going to use it tonig---

KILL ME

Noah: blah blah blah blue bat blah blah blah why are you sick blah blah blah am I going to california this year blah blah blah blah I love allstars blah blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaah blllllaaaaaaaaaaaaa bllllaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

hooooooooooooours later.

Noah: mom you still don't look so good are you sick or something that was neat running to beth at target this present for eric is cool I hope he likes it at his party tomorrow when do I get to go again after my game or maybe during it maybe they will stop the game so I can go to the party and skate and then come back. are you sure you're okay mom you are hot you need some water here's some water water cools you down so does air. air cools you down too you should get some water and go outside in the air and cool down because you are hot.

Me: time for bed. i love you. goodnight.

Noah: oh it's time for bed already I didn't do a thing today I know I need to go to bed so I can be ready for my big game tomorrow can you believe it got cancelled today cuz it rained a lot but not in my room so darbie didn't have to clean that up do I really need to go to bed already I'm really not slee-------CONK! zzzzzzzzzz

Dear God, thank you for making night. Amen

laughed so hard I almost died

2008-11-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

Me: Sarah, here's your lunch money.
S: FIVE dollars?!!!!

Me: Yep. go you.

S: I only have one dollar.

Me: No, you have 5.

S: No, see (waving bill) One. Dollar.

Me: Yes, but what is the number on it?

S: five

S: oh.

S: I have one five dollars

Me: Yep. You have One Five Dollar Bill.

S: who's Bill?

God, I love her!

double take

2008-11-20T11:47:00.000-08:00

WARNING - DESPITE WHAT MY NEW HEADER SAYS, THIS POST CONTAINS SWEAR WORDS AND A QUESTIONABLE PICTURES.

NO LITTLE EYES PEEKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER.

You've been warned...

Imagine an old school strip mall. Little, dumpy, and in desperate need of a face lift.
Now imagine one of your favorite lunchtime pizza joints is in this mall. You're hungry and decide that peperoni and mushroom with light sauce is today's choice for filling the mound that is your stomach. (okay MY stomach is a mound. Yours is probably nice and flat, bitch)

You place your phone order and carefully figure out the drive time so you can arrive just as they pull that yummy pizza out of the oven. As you drive up you can smell the deliciousness soon to be yours. The mound (or flatness, bitch!) growls and your mouth waters, ah! the excitement.

The parking lot is full, which makes sense as this is a fantastic little eatery, so you have to park down the way a bit. There's a spot in front of Adam & Eve, a little lingerie (I think!) shop. Cool, not a long walk. Besides, it's late fall and the weather is perfect. Exactly why you live in Phoenix, so you can wear flip flops and capris when picking up your lunch and not catch a chill or start to sweat. My kind of day!

Then you notice it. The mannequin. You've always seen her but never really paid much mind because you've always loved their cool logo, with the half apple. "clever" you always think to yourself. Today, though, you notice the figure on the left. The one is a fancy red lace number. Pretty right? But WAIT?!?! back up that bus.... WTF IS THAT?

A MAN??? IN THE WINDOW DISPLAY??? IN A DRESS?

Sure as shit. That's a man,

in a nightie.

really?

WHY?

and as if that's not enough. Check out the woman. double wtf on her mouth?

SCREW LUNCH. now I just feel dirty.

wow, pure talent!

2008-11-19T12:01:00.001-08:00

I could listen to this kid all day long. Who am I kidding, I damn near have :)
Check out the rest of this stuff. He's amazing.

m

free RIGHT NOW!

2008-11-17T20:59:00.001-08:00

I've made some changes to the look of my site. It's not all it's going to ever be, but for now, while still with godaddy, it'll have to do.

Check it out and let me know what you think

while fooling around I decided to dump the shipping costs. Well, they still will get paid, I mean good ole USPS needs their mula, but I'LL PAY FOR YOUR SHIPPING! I'm pretty sure this deal will run through Christmas. If it doesn't I'll post a head's up. I won't go just getting rid of an offer this good.

And a good offer it is. :)

HAPPY SHOPPING PEOPLE!

m

how about something free?

2008-11-17T12:13:00.001-08:00

Okay, it's not free YET. But I'm working on it. It's coming! For reals !

Here's the dealio. I've put into words what my book does with pictures. I've designed some cool tools to help grasp the concept of the book and to help with Lifting in general.

And it will be downloadable for free!

The design of my little project/class thing, called a "Lift Kit" is done. But I've got much to work out with the website and logistics of doing an online class.

If you wanna get in on the action before it's all official, just fill out the CONTACT PAGE at Paper Therapy. I'll add you to a special mailing list where I'll send out updates and final details. I'm hoping to officially launching the class Dec 1 with the class starting mid dec or beginning of January. It will be a free form class, so the timing will not be critical. Something that, for me, is a must over the holiday season. So it will be stress free - this much I know!

More to come soon!

m

my brain may explode

2008-11-13T09:19:00.001-08:00

No joke, I think my brain is going to explode. Lots of things rambling around up in there. Beyond being actually busy at work (this is a good thing for sure!!!) I've got some personal/creative things going on.

first, my scrapbook room. I've been working on it like crazy. Rearranging the million M's I have. Making new ones. decorating old olds. Buying more, like this one:

This is not smart! I have no more room. The part of my brain that says, "STOP!" is broken. clearly. I've got the middle of the alphabet covering the walls of my room to prove it.

The room is finally clean and nearly ready for a picture to post. Had I not started that free Jessica Sprague Stories in Hand class it might be perfect right now. But since there's a project to do, there are scraps of paper all over the place making it not picture worthy, yet. I hope to get some good pictures this weekend to post. I'll also have to post the before picture. Proof that my creative mind does not require cleanliness. You can't even tell it's an actual room. I have issues. for reals.

second, this class. I'm super excited about Jessica's system to gathering stories. That's something I've struggled with in my scrapbooking. I know I've got stories in me, but getting them out in a more exciting way than "we went to Globe, ate ice cream and had a blast with the kids" is something I want to be better at. The timing isn't great for me, I'll admit. My brain is overflowing with crap and adding to it is causing the craziest dreams. My brain takes my creative endeavours and blends it into the real things I did or saw that day. so when I've got many creative things going on it turns into a crazy mess up there. If only I could remember them for more than an hour, I would share one with you. Peter gets to hear most, and he looks at me completely boggled, mumbling, "that's completely f'ed up" Next time I'll write one down so y'all can see what I mean.

third, a new idea. I've been working on some ideas with how to better explain and market my book. It's been super slow going as everything ties together. When I change one thing in one of my concepts it trickles down to the blog, and website, and adverts. Everything! I need to finish it all before I can move on. In the long run it's better, it just seems to take so long to make progress.

But in the spirit of a good blog entry, which means pictures. And to put a little teaser out there. Here's a graphic I've been working on. Hate it? well keep that to yourself. :) My dreams couldn't handle it!

photo/twitter post

2008-11-11T09:38:00.000-08:00

let's get some pictures up in here!
This one's gonna be short and sweet, I'm all chattered out. OH SHUT UP! It could happen!

Jack-o-lanterns. HELLO CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!!! this was right before bed, after showers. I allowed them to sit up on the island to take the picture. I would not recommend doing this, as now they think they can do it all the time. Especially that little one in the middle who can pretty much get away with anything cuz those damn eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------

Halloween DUH! Mine are the grumpy army guy in the middle. The bright pink Bat Girl at right. and sweet little butterfly at left. This picture is proof I have NO STINKING CLUE how to take a good picture. ugh! Oh but check out that adorable pumpkin stand thing in front of the window. I have another that's a skeleton, found them at Michael's. Love them!

----------------------------------------------------------

The travelocity gnome. By far the cutest costume I've seen, like ever.

oh EWW!! Déjà vu. Do I say that every year? I mean do I say that EVERY year??? NO really? Do I say it every YEAR?

OKAY I think I need to be done with this before my brain twists itself into a crazy little pretzel.

EDITED TO ADD:

this was the question in the ponder thing after I updated and it totally cracked me up. I just couldn't leave it alone!

"Do toilet seats really protect us from anything?"

uh... hello? Ever heard of falling in?

a teeny reminder

2008-11-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all! I just wanted to post real fast about the "i wear yellow" banners for the Emily Benefit. If you copy the little banner, and I see many of you have,

YOU ROCK!! THANK YOU

anyway, when you put it on your blog make sure you add a link back to

http://www.papertherapy.com/

so people can see what I'm up to over there :) and pick up the book.

I'm sure you know how to do that, but JUST IN CASE, in the "configure Image" pop-up just type in http://www.papertherapy.com/ in the "link" box

(or copy and paste if your uber lazy like me) and BOOM, you're done.

Parenting Tip of the Month (or not)

2008-11-08T09:30:00.000-08:00

Don't let this title fool you, I'm not going to be adding a monthly parenting tip to my blog? Why, you ask? Because I'm like the crappiest mother ever. Oh yes, it's true.

Want proof? Our pet hamster Rascal died. Found him dead Friday morning. This, in itself, doesn't earn me "crap mother of the year" award, as pets are allowed to die. The problem? I'm not exactly sure when it happened. I know he was alive Wednesday, because I saw him climbing in his cage, but beyond that I'm clueless. I'm a monster!

Last night I told the kids. Noah first, since it was his birthday present pet. He burst into tears. I felt terrible. He asked how, and why, and was it his fault? I told him no and no and heavens no! all the while thinking it's your mother's fault. I probably put him in a diabetic coma feeding him too many carrots and grapes. Can hamsters get diabetes? Should they even eat carrots and grapes? See? These are things I should know! Monster I tell you!

OOH!!! And to top off this pleasure cruise of self loathing, I wrapped up little rascal and put him in the trash. WHAT???!! what are you supposed to do? I didn't know, and it was trash day. Turns out I might have thought to save him so Noah could see him, and say goodbye maybe. Hell if I know. All I know is I had to completely avoid Noah's question of what I did with him. He'll ask again, I'm sure. Still have NO idea what I'll tell him, "Mommy threw your beloved little pet in the garbage honey, and years from now you won't see her in heaven, Satan has a special spot for hamster tossing monster moms!"

I started this blog entry thinking about this super clever and incredibly brilliant idea slash parenting tip I came up with while dining with the kids the other night. But now I'm wondering if this is just another example of what a monster I am!

Here's what happened. We are with another family and that mom, her name is Renee, is like super prepared and actually brings things to entertain her children during dinner. Something I've long since given up remembering I should do. There we are, adults chatting away having a great time while the kids put together the puzzle Renee brought along. They started to get restless after putting it together twice. Oh bloody hell! I just realize they put it together a second time because I tore it apart right as they finished, laughed and said "uh oh, looks like you have to do it again!" What is wrong with me???

As I was saying, after they put it together, for the second time, no thanks to me, they were bored. I suggested they do it upside down and wouldn't ya know it - they did! I made Eric, the one who did the bulk of the work, hold off with the last piece so I could snap a picture.

So my parenting tip of the month, find someone else who is like NICE and THOUGHTFUL to get tips from. I'm for sure not qualified! :)

m

I need some cheering up

2008-11-05T11:24:00.000-08:00

If you read my tweets, you'll know how I really feel about yesterday. You'll know what I can't say here {anymore} because I'm trying to be a good - less offensive - blogger. I'm still feeling funky today and thought a little uplifting post might do me so good. So here it is: my kids. Pretty damn cute huh? yes, I know, they're perfect. It's all in the genes!

BWHAHAHAHhahaaa

I love this little photo.

I love how they are all red from playing. There was no way I was going to photoshop/correct that. It's so them. Hard playing kids.

I love that it was their idea that all three of them get on the tire swing without a single thought of leaving someone off, or going it alone. The fact that really do like playing together is about the coolest thing on the planet.

I love how they have finally figured out that I'm going as fast as I can with the camera, and that I won't stop until I get a decent shot. So just be semi-still, smile, and I'll let you play after I get a shot. (thank you, Beth, for filling me on that little parenting nugget)

I love it so much it's my desktop right now, replacing the Microsoft furnished "window in a Mexican casita" photo. I works perfectly as a desktop image, too, because most of my folders are on the right side (yes, totally backwards, I know) and they don't get lost in the picture.

The only problem is its sheer size or their heads. I have a massively huge 24" monitor here at work. It's GIGANTIC and completely wonderful! As a result of this billboard sized monitor, the munchkin's faces are like bigger than life size. It took me a couple days to get used to having them all up in my face every day. Correction: it took some time having them all up in my face and silent.

Honest to God, it took a couple days to realize they weren't going to jump out of the screen with questions, or complaints, or requests, or demands, or tattlings, or anything that would interrupt the quiet, happy, perfection of them looking up at me.

Yep, that did the trick.

Y'all have no idea...

2008-11-04T21:42:00.000-08:00

...how hard it is for me not to totally swear right now. Stupid less sweary blog ;)

Sorry, John, you got my vote. and at least 55 million other people believe you're the man for the job.

m

i wear yellow

2008-11-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

I spent the day today at the ballpark with my family. It's been an amazing day, full of hot dogs and strong young men is uniforms. The weather was perfect, seats were in the shade, and each kid got a baseball. All in all it was perfect.

or mostly. there's been something on my mind all day.

I've been checking Emily's blog non-stop since finding out how grave her husband's situation was. I've been glued to the computer last night and all this morning. On my way to the game, around 12:30, I read her post that they were going to have to remove him from the breathing machine. I read later he passed around 2:30 this afternoon. My heart simply breaks for her. She's handling it so incredibly well, being a pillar of strength for her children. Her faith in God is strong and I know He will carry her through this. But still, it's so incredibly sad.

A couple weeks ago the Internet came together to help Kimberly after the sudden and tragic loss of her husband. Being a part of that felt wonderful. Paypaling a little chunk of change to a complete stranger during her time of need made me feel, I dunno, good. Like I was giving back. Even though I didn't know her, I felt I could be her, and that moved me.

But this. Man, this. It's different. closer. I know Emily. I've known her for years and years. Damn, I just posted about her a while back. Her children are the same age as my two oldest and we've always shared stories about whats going on in their lives.

I dunno, it's all just crazy to me. I can't imagine it. I want to do something. I want to help. But how do you help someone who's going through so much? Hell if I know. All I can do it pray. Which I will continue to do. And I'll hug my man a little tighter tonight, cuz I know she'd tell me to do that.

But I can do more than pray. With your help, we can do great things. I'm doing another benefit. But this time it's not a week. It's for the entire month of November. The profits from Lifted are going to Emily. So here's a way that you can give, but still get something in return. I mean something beyond the warm fuzzies you get from helpin' out a sister.

Really, it's the least I could do. I hope you'll join me.

m

p.s. feel free to copy the pic above and post on your blog. Or email me at michelle@papertherapy.com and I'll send you the file.

SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL

2008-10-31T09:30:00.000-07:00

I decided THIS MORNING to have a little (or kinda big) Halloween special.

So TODAY ONLY you'll get 31% off my book!!!!

go to papertherapy.com to buy it today for big savings!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

one way I kill time

2008-10-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed with the new blog added a couple silly things. When I set it up I found myself rummaging through some of the add-on features blogger has available to those of us in need of content :) I loved many of them but managed to limit myself to two.

If you scroll aaaaall the way down to the bottom of the blog you'll find a brain exerciser game. It's fast and easy, yet surprisingly hard and not so fast when you do it like a dozen times. Go ahead, give it a try. It's good to give that lump up in your head a work out now and again. I'll fess up, the first time (and second and third) I finished in 59, 56 and 52 seconds. I've stuck with it (more or less) and can now consistently finish in 30. It's like a internal challenge for me now. and besides, sometimes I find myself in need of a break :)

The second little silly adder thing that that "things you ponder" dealio. I love this kind of thing. So Steven Wright. It repeats kind of a lot and I've been considering changing it for something new. This morning I was glad I hadn't yet because this one totally caught my eye.

Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?

Seriously, does everyone else do this too? who knew?!?! I thought I was the only one!

m

so let's talk

2008-10-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

Most of you know how my brain flows freely between being sharp, on point, and focused to slow, muddled and just plain gone. As I get older I've notice that this swing happens more often, and which more severity. I have days where I'll not only be able to think of all I have to do, but I'll be able write it all down and systematically check off each item as it's completed. Then there other days, when I can't even spell the word "list" much less get off the couch to start one.

Last week I had two of these brain-dead days, and man they sucked. Because (and I guess this is symptom of the underlying issue) now, not only do I have these off days, but they make me feel like total dog crap. You wanna know how I feel when I'm off? Like I'm pregnant. AND NO - I AM NOT PREGNANT - but that's how I feel. And everyone knows how much I hated being pregnant! Love the first day, and the last day, but those 40 weeks in between suck in the most hard core sucky way!

so why the hell am I telling y'all all of this you ask? Well, because I thought of it at lunch when I got this fortune...

...and figured I would write about how it made me feel. You see, on any given day I might be any of those three people. I realized that it might not make sense, why sometimes I have big things going on, but can't seem to talk about them. Take the signing I had at About Memories and More last weekend. I knew about it, I wanted to talk about it, but I just couldn't. My brain couldn't come up with something worthy of how that event went. And it deserved more than, "had a signing, it went great"

If you've done the math you may have figured out that the off days were before the signing, so why couldn't I blog about it on Monday? Well, here's one of the great consequences of those off days. I don't do anything. I mean A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. so I end up playing catch-up. Which overwhelms me, leaving me teetering on having another set of bad days. make sense?? If you're crazy, it does. It's a vicious cycle I tell ya.

Yah, I won't be off my meds like, ever.

THAT brings me to the signing. MAN WHAT FUN! Super cool group of chickies up in Flag. although I can't I'm surprised, scrapbookers totally rock anyway! Kirsten, the owner, is super fun, and dang cute and WAY creative. She even has a little 8 year old admirer - and we all know 8 year old boys don't lie! So when one loves you, you must really ROCK! :) Thanks for having my Kirsten, you were a fantastic host!

It's always so cool to talk to people about the concept of the book and watch them get it. To watch their eyes light up as they figure out what I mean when I say "scraplifting: it's not a crime." To see them look down at the book and see it for what it is - a way to tap into your own personal creativity. A way to learn exactly how to lift someones page and really, TRULY end up with a page that's uniquely theirs. A huge perk to having taken this huge chance on the book are those experiences. They make it all worth it. Thank you girls! Y'all make it possible for me to keep going out there, pluggin' this little book of mine.

early birds, or bats and butterflies rather

2008-10-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

Kate's little daycare is run by a really smart chic who held the school's Halloween party last Friday night. I love it that they have it early, leaving Halloween open for trick or treating. It always helps doing a dry run of the costumes. Take Kate's butterfly costume, courtesy of Beth, thanks dawg!, and the floppy antenna. Now I've got time to find something new, or make something, or whatever. yes, I realize that a normal person would test these things out before and make the necessary adjustments, but let's face it, I'm just not a normal person.

So here you go, my little butterfly and batgirl. How cute are these two?!?!

m

faces

2008-10-27T00:52:00.000-07:00

So I wanna blog but don't have much to say. How lame is that? I just can't get more than a few senteneces in my head worthy of a real entry. So what does that mean? IT'S TWITTER BLOG TIME AGAIN!

Here are the cutest little ghosts on the planet! I made for Kate's halloween party, which is last Friday. Thank you Lorie for always posting such cute things. I know rarely comment, but I check your blog all the time. It's like one-stop shopping :) And on this day you made me look like a hero!

So there are super easy, and just messy enough that you can get a little finger licking goodness going on. Not that I would lick my fingers while cooking anything ;) OH! and there are like super delicious. super duper delicious. Be warned.

While we're looking at cute, edible faces, this was dinner last week. Yes, I stopped Sarah from eating her food while I took a picture of her Alien Pancakes. Yes, I did this in a restaurant. )But it was Denny's, so it hardly counts.) And yes, I felt like a moron, but I had to! Just look at him, he's freaking ADORABLE!!!

signing

2008-10-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

Just a quickie little post about a book signing from 2-4 tomorrow (10/25) at About Memories and More up in Flagstaff. Come in and say HI!!!

3rd photo tag

2008-10-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

Kaelene tagged me. I'm supposed to post the 3rd photo of the 3rd picture folder. I've just started saving pictures to this computer so this picture is real recent.

Taken 9/30, Kate and Sarah were chillin in Kate's bed - which is a crib (yes she can get in and out of it at will) I thought I could get a good picture of them. I didn't get the picture I wanted, but I have to say, I kinda like this one. who knew that the 3rd of the 3rd is a good way to select pictures?

m

this is what started it all

2008-10-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

Years ago I was working with my friend Emily down at Scrapbooks, Etc. when I noticed this key chain she had. When I say noticed, I mean that I drooled and screamed and ran around the store cursing that I didn't have an "E" name. I HAD TO HAVE ONE. but, being the lazy (oh I want to say ass here) person that I am, pretty much knew I wouldn't go to the little store where she bought hers. Emily, being the super cool chic that she is, offered to pick one up next time she was down there. score!

Months and months go by and I'd long since forgotten about my cute little "m". But Emily hadn't. when I finally hooked up with here again, she had the m, but the story of finding it wasn't a pretty one. She told me that she went right down to the store like the next day and there were no m's. then she tried a couple other places, no luck. She tried and tried and tried to find me an m. I kinda felt bad (kinda???) cuz really, my little slobber session over her key chain much have really made an impact on her. While she would never say it, I'm sure she was afraid for her life if she didn't find this m for me. silly girl. But she persevered and found one for me - and I LOVE IT!!

love love love my m key chain.

It lives on my rear view mirror. Peter absolutely hates it there, saying it's so very white trash. Yeah well you married this white trash hooker pal. so there! The M is saying bucko!

and that started my collection of m's.

they are nothing special, just little random, cheapo m's that I pick up anytime I see one. Lately, though, I've gotten a tad out of control. Or maybe not. You tell me.

It's common knowledge that Mervyns isn't doing well (are they actually bankrupt now?) and when the one by my work said it was closing no one was surprised. One morning I was driving out to a meeting, like I often have to, and saw these sign guys taking down the building mounted mervyns sign. I swerve across 3 lanes to make the left into the parking lot. Imagine the Saturday morning garage sale shoppers turning wildly as they see the teeny neon orange sign at the base of the corner telephone pole. That was me.

so I pull in and flag the dude down. This is how that conversation went.

Me: hey! what are you guys going to do with that sign?

Dude: throw it away.

Me: really? well if you are, can I have the m?

Dude: What?

Me: if. you. are. throwing. it. away. can. I. have. the. m.?

Dude: I dunno, I'll have to call my boss. How much you wanna pay?

Me: umm....well....nothing.

Dude: nothing?

Me: yeah! you're throwing them away anyway, right?

Dude: yeah, I guess.

Me: yeah, so can I have it then?

He had to call, but there was no answer so I left my name and number and asked if he would call me back. I left sure that I would never hear from him and felt like a dork for having asked. I could only imagine what he said to his buddies about the crazy, fat, white chick driving a mini-van who wanted this gigantic, bright blue letter m from an old Mervyn's store.

But luck was on my side (dumb luck as peter would put it) and the dude called me at the end of the day. His boss was cool with it and I could come pick it up. We made arrangements for that to happen and now I am the proud owner of a 4 foot wide by 2 foot high plastic, lower case m. and I love it almost as much as my little metal key chain m. It doesn't have a permanent home yet, it's just leaning against the wall on top of the bookcase in my scrapbook room. If only I could have it hanging from the rear view mirror. Now that would be white trash!

between me and Kate

2008-10-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

Setting the stage: I am on my cell phone, listening to the long, but funny, recorded message waiting to leave a message. Kate notices and wants to talk.

Kate, reaching for phone: "me wanna talk! me wanna talk to daddy!"
Me: "it's not daddy, honey"
Kate: "me wanna talk to daddy!"
Me: "okay honey, but that wasn't daddy. That was Manny"
Kate: "Manny?"
Me: "yes."
Kate: "me wanna talk to Manny!!!"
Me: "let's get you some cereal"
Kate: "okay"

The phone rings, I answer: "hello Manny"
We have our conversation, I hang up.

Kate: "was that Manny?"
Me: "yup"
Kate, GASPING, "OHHHH! yayyy....manny!!!"

Kate goes back to eating her cereal, singing "manny manny" under her breathe.

I've no idea where that came from. I work with Manny and she's met him a number of times, but I highly doubt she would know who he was given a choice. Not that I mind her excitement. You see, she didn't get to talk to daddy. That's not normally how that goes.

m

drama on a dime

2008-10-16T12:53:00.001-07:00

I have crap light in my house. crap! It's probably the thing I dislike most about my house. The only decent window is in Sarah's room, and even then it's still crap. Even so, sometimes I think the architecture and sun will take pity on my and I might be able to get some pictures of the kids. Hasn't happened yet, but that didn't stop me on this particular afternoon.

You can tell my expectations were low by the crazy dirty and completley uncoordinated clothes I didn't make the kids change out of. To my surprise, thought, the attempt at a photo shoot started okay.

Except for Noah looking stoned, I actually liked this shot, and thought we could be on to something. Hey! Let's try to get A GOOD picturs of ALL THREE OF YOU! First Mistake! This must turn some crazy switch in these guys because holy crap - put them in front of a camera and ask them to just sit. SIT. They can move, and talk, and breathe and everything. but sit on your butt for crying out loud. OH NO!! too much to ask, and we all lost out minds.

Things quickly turned out like every other time I've tried to do this, with me threantening to call the gypsies if they didn't sit their butt down and look cute for mommy before her head explodes or the camera ends up on the front lawn via the closed window.

I must have pushed too hard because ON A DIME Sarah got her sour puss face on.

It's I.N.S.A.N.E. how fast this happens. Faster than the losing the mind switch. It's like BAM! I'M SAD NOW AND NOTHING IS GOING TO MAKE ME LIKE YOU AGAIN.

i gave up. done. don't need a picture today. Go ahead and bounce around like I've just force fed you crack with a red bull chaser. Just don't come crying to me when you bust your head open on the dresser. Mommy is going to be rocking in the bathtub, thank you very much.

Then somehow, someway, for reasons I've yet to figure out, much less duplicate, sarah stopped being all poo-poo-long-face and smiled. Welcome back, my sweet.

The drama had past and my children were all normal again. Praise Jesus!

I, however, still needed some me time rocking in the tub.

m

atop my tv

2008-10-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

I used to have this big cursive, button embellished "M" on my TV, right below that clock. It had to find a new home when I got this fun vinyl phrase from Brenda over at Eye Candy. I don't think she has a site, contact Lisa for her phone number. anyway, I love it. Thanks Brenda! It's added a cool touch to my family room.

Since I put that up I've spent some time just looking at the collection of things that have found their home on my TV. I found myself surprised that's it's mostly stuff from my dad. The huge candlesticks were a Christmas present/housewarming gift from him years ago. I remember it was a combined gift because they were rather expensive and we've had a spending limit for adult gifts for years, and this far exceeded that limit. they mean a lot to me for some reason, although I've never really been able to vocalize why. It was such an indulgent purchase for our family. I mean they were a lot. I think Dad knew that I fell completely in love with them and that they would always have a honored place in our home. And they do. I still love them as much as that very first day.

Then there's the round slice of rock, bottom left of photo. I didn't fully know it at the time, but this would be the last thing he ever bought me. I'm fairly certain he knew it would be his last gift. Which makes it all the more important. We were strolling around downtown Auburn California at the local antique shops and locally owned boutiques during my super fast visit before my 20th high school reunion.

Our first stop was this rock store, common in northern cali, with all it's gold and other natural goodness. I'm not the type who buys these types of things. No real reason. I love to look at them but having rocks in my house, even as pretty as they can be, usually doesn't interest me. But this one caught my eye, and Dad noticed. We went back and forth about this silly rock, talking about what we 'saw' in it, toying with buying it, but where would it live, how it survive the trip home, much less the kids, when finally he just bought it for me. So him.

In it I saw a lake, a huge lake with almost no end. A lake that went past the out cluster of shore which separated the part you might swim in from the part that one might speed boat in - although this wasn't a boating type a lake, but still a fun lake, with no end.

He saw the ocean with its vast horizon line that, also, had no end.

He bought that rock for me in August, 2007, and died 5 months later. I've posted this poem before, but will again. It gave me so much conform those hard days of waiting at Hospice. Read it with the thought of this rock and tell me he didn't know something beyond the fact that he had cancer...

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my sidespreads her white sails to the morning breeze andstarts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beautyand strength. I stand and watch her until at lengthshe hangs like a speck of white cloud just wherethe sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large inmast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side andshe is just as able to bear her load of living freight to herdestined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at themoment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voicesready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

And that is dying.

I don't mean to be a big bummer. We all deal with dying in our own way, and today mine is to talk about this. I think that's why I'm so touched by Kimberly's loss. My dad had been diagnosed with cancer and knew his time was short. He was able to, knowingly or not, leave something significant for me. Something I could always know we, at some level, had the same thoughts about. I hope she finds that one thing he husband was able to leave for her and that maybe it's something that lives on her TV. Something to remind her that this is not the end. Something she can look at, and smile.

as I overlap blogs...

2008-10-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to make the switch to this blog, but started something over at "i swear" that I don't want to end or move till the end of the week. So I'm going to duplicate them till I feel I can make the break:

Here are the recent posts from over there....

"my heart is warm"

Y'all are busting this, and my heart is warm. Keep going. Dig deep. We can be a ray of light during such a dark time for someone else. I might not know her, but that doesn't matter. I could be her.

every.
little.
bit.
helps.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"benefit for Kimberly"

I don't have much time today, so I'm going to send you to cathy's blog and to tara's blog for the whole story.

Now here's what I'm going to do. Beyond my personal contribution, I am going to have a week long benefit for Kimberly. I don't have much to offer, but what I have, I'll give. If you buy the book this week I'll donate all my profits to Kimberly and her family.

there are absolutely no strings. You don't have to enter a code. You don't have to have read anyone's blog. all you have to do it buy the book. ALL retail sales will be included, whether they know about the benefit or not.

so if you were thinking of getting the book but were holding off for the right time, I'd say the right time is now. We have the power to help a sister in need.

We can all make a difference.

p.s. OH YEA! As I said I'm in a time crunch today (dang real job) so I don't have time right now to update the paper therapy site with this benefit, but please rest assured that all sales will be tallied - starting now. I personally process all sales : ) so there's no chance of any sales being left off!

my new home

2008-10-13T14:01:00.000-07:00

After admittedly WAY too much thought and pestering of Beth, I've finally decided to build a new, more professionalish, home in the blogging world. Okay, professional might not be the best word. Let's just say less UNprofessional, shall we? I love "i swear" but let's face it, linking Paper Therapy to it isn't the best idea, so I'm told. I swear will stay up but I won't be posting there anymore. Everything will be here, yo.

So I've cleaned up my act (mostly) and will post more scrapping/book related things here. As well TRY to post more in general. I have some cool plans, including featuring people and lifted pages and stuff. <--see "stuff" I'm already better, because you know full well what I said in my head, right?

I'm still going to twitter, but I think I'm going to take off the preview so I can slip in the occasional naughty word without it being directly posted here. So follow me, or just click from here to see what incredibly stupid and mundane things I'm talking about in 140 character bursts.

I hope you like it. It's felt kinda good ridding myself of all the sh----OOOPS!!! baby steps.

m