miscommunication

Wanna pop in here and share a quick little exchange I had with the girls the other day. It's probably only funny to me, but so what. I like it :)

Me (and the end of a phone call): "hey bro? I gotta run! love you!"
Kate: me wanna run!
Me: what???
Kate: Me wanna go run too.
Me: You want to go on a what? a run??? what? OH! no....Mommy isn't going on a run"
Kate: ME WANT TO RUN!
Kate: Honey, I. am. not. running. anywhere. I was just telling Uncle Mike goodbye.
Sarah (walking in): You guys are going on a run?! I WANT TO GO TOO!

Me: ***thinking*** SERIOUSLY GIRLS, WHEN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MOMMY RUN ANYWHERE!!!???

Me: yeah okay girls. no running right now. let's go to school, you can run there!
girls: OKAY MOMMY!

PHEW. close one. I was this close to taking a jog. And everyone knows...I own a car.

m

pledge

It's like almost 11pm on Friday and I'm sitting here, alone, listening to Billy Squier and hoping my heart doesn't burst and make a mess of my freshly cleaned house. today/tonight has been a pretty kick ass time for little ole me. I've been trying to figure out a super cool "dooce"-ish way to talk about how I've been feeling lately and, well, nothings come to me. Pretty much because I'm not heather Armstrong, and I won't ever be. Pretty much because, let's face it, I'm not her. I am me. Michelle. And, as much as I don't believe it. as much as I doubt myself, fact remains, I'm okay. maybe even, GASP, cool. . . . . . . . shut it!

Here's the thing. I believe in the idea that you can judge a person by the company they keep. There has been plenty people I've given the benefit of the doubt solely because they knew people I knew were okay. So you would think that I would apply that to my own life and believe in myself, right? But, here's the thing. I don't. I have to force myself to believe it. i have to REMIND myself that I have KICK ASS friends and, therefore, MUST be (semi) cool , by association. But did you see that? I did it just now. Those parenthesis. ^ up there. That's me talking myself out of what I'm trying to convince my brain of believing. that's me saying "i should believe I'm cool because I have cool friends" when in reality I'm a self doubting, insecure, mess.

and then I wonder, are we all a self-doubting, insecure, mess?

the more I listen to people, the harder I dig to get to the truth, the less I assume what others are thinking. Everyday I realize that we are all in the same, EXACT, boat. We all lay in bed at night thinking "why did I eat that?", "did I really say that!!?", "did I say something that made her not call", "have I worked hard enough to keep my job?", "am I good enough?" "am I good enough?"

How do we get past that? "Am I good enough?" I know you do it. I know you do because, well, you.... you are....human, and (I've decided/learned) that we all question ourselves. Like, endlessly.

In this year of change, in this time with Obama and shit, I'm played lemming and fallen for this "be change' campaign. Ya, whatever. I'm a skeptic (yeah, I said it) but in the spirit of change I've decided to reflect on myself. I can see that this is time to fix myself. I mean I might as well make some attempt at making a difference, right? So here's my Pledge. I pledge to believe in myself. I will believe that I ROCK. I will believe that because my parents rocked and that they taught me well. I will believe because all the people I know are NOT wrong about me. I will believe that even thought my children are little mini-me's, it's impossible for them to be any cooler! I will believe because my husband is the single coolest person on the planet, and he things the same of me. I believe because I am a child of God and He knows what He's doing.

I pledge to believe, IN ME. In that the possibilities are endless. I will love more. Trust more. Do more. Change more. Believe more. Gossip less. Hate less. Doubt less. Judge Less.

Love more. hate less.

that is my pledge. what's yours?

m

Big Game

Today is a big day for (us) Arizona football fans. I'm normally not one to lament about being somewhere I'm not, but today I gotta say, I would LOVE to be here:



But I know a few people who ARE GOING! So I'll be living through them. Thank God for cell phones and texting. It's going to feel like I'm there!

m

Hair

Both girls got their hairsies cut the other day. See how cute they are?

all together now... aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh....

But before this, I had a proud mom moment and did Kate's hair in ponies. I usually suck at this so I was all proud when I got them even are more symetrical than not.

I took a picture to document this proud day.

I know, right? It's horrible. I had to have been dropped on my head as a child.

m

meet my husband, the comedian

My man is blind. Which, now that I think about it, makes me wonder if he has a clue what I look like. I know he doesn't know what color my eyes are. He thinks they are blue. They are not, they're green. It's an ongoing joke I won't let him ever live down. But that's another post. This one is about his eyesight.

So, he's blind and with every eyeglass-wearing person, he needs new spectacles every few years. Today was that blessed day. I asked if I go with him to vote on the new pair. He shot me down without a second thought, "I've been doing this since I was 16, Michelle. I can handle it" Yeah yeah, but I don't wear glasses every day so it's cool to me. Freaking humor me, man. But Nope. He didn't want me to tag along. I called him a name I can't say here. Starts with F, ends with head. Some day I'll tell the story about that 'term of endearment', too.

Let me tell you something about Peter. He's is killer funny. The man cracks me up. Everyone wants to find that person who makes them laugh, right? I know I always did. I dated many funny guys. Some were even like seriously stand up comedian funny. But what made it different with Peter is he thinks I'm killer funny too. We're like a matched set of really super funny people - to each other. If no one else ever cracks a smile over us, it's cool. We'll be kicking back laughing out our own damn selves.

This smarty pants husband of mine comes walking in with these on, and asks me what I think.



seriously? we're close. soul mates (hurl) even. But in those first few seconds of looking at him I didn't think I could tell him that those were quite possibly the ugliest pair of glasses ever made. How do you tell someone that? "oh yes dear, those silver dollar sized, amber colored, way too narrow, BI-focal glasses look horrible, dear."

Thank God he let me off the hook quickly. He told me that they - quite literally - came from the "ugly box" of glasses. Apparently, Peter told his Dr. about my desire to 'help' with this process and they devised this plan to show up with the nastiest part of glasses in the free world. Possibly on the planet.

I called him the F slash head name and then peed my pants with laughter. His real glasses will be here next week.

m

well it's not a post about grocery shopping

I've been meaning to blog...meaning to and meaning to and I just can't think of anything really blog worthy to talk about. Even the random crap that I usually like has left me bored. I just don't know what to do about it. So I'm just gonna sit here and try to remember some of the things that have flashed through my mind, or accomplished, or not accomplished over the past week.

I'm going to start with Facebook. I joined last weekend at the INSISTENCE of Beth and Kaelene. Thanks girls, it is pretty cool. You were right! Neat to see what everyone is up to in the world outside my current world (meaning High school). Been a little roller coaster for me though. On many levels it's just plain strange to me. Not strange/bad, strange/different.

The first thing I noticed was the intimacy of facebook over say, Twitter, or here even. I love twitter but didn't realize that when I said something there is was just kinda out there. Thrown aimlessly for the Internet to see, or not see. I've realized just how anonymous twitter is for me. Or really how much I liked that anonymity. Facebook isn't like that. These are people I know. Some I talk to every day, some sit next to me all day, some I grew up with and know all the shit I did as a kid. It's intimate, personal. And with that comes some additional responsibility and accountability.


Like sometimes I feel like I would be wasting their time if I write completely useless shit. That could be my own self doubt coming to the surface, or maybe I need to find a filter. who knows? I want to be me, and lord knows, useless dribble is pretty much me. But I also want to be considerate, semi-funny, and for sure not a complete bore. so there's a bit of a learning curve on what to say where, and to really feel comfortable to be myself.


Another thing I've realized is how much I left behind when I up and moved from my home town to come to school in AZ. When it was time for me to move here to Tempe, I just moved. I didn't look back. Not once. No forwarding address, few goodbyes, just a long drive with my dad to a brand new place. I didn't know a soul. Didn't have a job, or an apartment, or a clue. In three days I found a place to live, got a roommate, landed a job, had a new school, watched my Dad drive away, and was all alone. But I wasn't alone. Everyone else was in the same place, doing the same exact thing. And no one knew me. I could start over. And that's exactly what I did. I started over.

Thing is, those people I left. Those friends. They pretty much kicked ass. I'm not sure why I needed to start over, or what I was running from, but I do know it certainly wasn't those people. It was more the place, and what I felt that place held for me at that moment. So that's something I've missed out by leaving - those people. Facebook as allowed me to take a peek into their lives so far and - not surprisingly - be in awe at their accomplishments, their struggles, their energy, their overall coolness. It's been pretty kick ass, even if I haven't been a part of it.

Okay, wow. didn't mean to get all deep there. I thought this would flow into my first shopping experience at Sprouts. I'll have to save that for another day. Cuz that's kinda a funky place with a totally different mood/vibe than I'm (apparently) in right now.


m

love my peeps, just not the marshmellow kind

This weekend has been kinda busy, especially today, when I got a crazy hair and decided to take down all the Christmas decorations. Even the Santa's outside, Beth. :) I haven't put anything back up so the house looks really strange. It's going to have to wait until tomorrow, though, cuz I'm beat! But it feels good to have it (almost all the way) done.

I joined facebook this weekend, too. already addicted. The newness better fade quickly or I'll alienate all my 'new' friends before the week is out. Nothing like a newbie huh?!

Beth , Kaelene and I scrapbooked at Paper Vineyard last night. Had a blast!!! We went to Walmart after - my all time favorite place (you can hear the sarcasm right?) so I could pick some up crap (no floor cleaner stalker guy or bitch fights Kerry, thank god!) and I ran across this aisle.

Seriously, Valentine's Day. Can we get a week's break from the holiday merchandising? This aisle was literally nauseating it was so huge. Pink from floor to ceiling and 50 feet deep with this:

GIGANTIC sign ever so gently reminding you to show your love for your family with heart shaped candy or else they'll get bitter and resentful and divorce your ass for a candy maker.

As I walked away from the football field of pink I let it go. I mean V-day is only 5 weeks away, or there abouts. I could get my candy now, eat it, and still have time to buy more for Peter. Too bad it'll be stale!

But then...oh then...we got to the front and Beth saw this.

That's Easter candy my friends. EASTER! This is a crappy picture, at best, so if you don't believe me, I took another.

This is a crappy picture, at best, so if you don't believe me, I took another.

no doubt about it, that's a creme egg.

While I love the Cadbury Creme Egg more than the average Joe, and I'm tickled that I won't have to wait until after Lent to have (a super stale) one, I am fearful that I won't make the 3+ months of looking at hollow Easter bunnies and Peeps. Someone make get hurt. I'm guessing it'll be the Peeps.

m