Monday, January 12, 2009

well it's not a post about grocery shopping

I've been meaning to blog...meaning to and meaning to and I just can't think of anything really blog worthy to talk about. Even the random crap that I usually like has left me bored. I just don't know what to do about it. So I'm just gonna sit here and try to remember some of the things that have flashed through my mind, or accomplished, or not accomplished over the past week.

I'm going to start with Facebook. I joined last weekend at the INSISTENCE of Beth and Kaelene. Thanks girls, it is pretty cool. You were right! Neat to see what everyone is up to in the world outside my current world (meaning High school). Been a little roller coaster for me though. On many levels it's just plain strange to me. Not strange/bad, strange/different.

The first thing I noticed was the intimacy of facebook over say, Twitter, or here even. I love twitter but didn't realize that when I said something there is was just kinda out there. Thrown aimlessly for the Internet to see, or not see. I've realized just how anonymous twitter is for me. Or really how much I liked that anonymity. Facebook isn't like that. These are people I know. Some I talk to every day, some sit next to me all day, some I grew up with and know all the shit I did as a kid. It's intimate, personal. And with that comes some additional responsibility and accountability.

Like sometimes I feel like I would be wasting their time if I write completely useless shit. That could be my own self doubt coming to the surface, or maybe I need to find a filter. who knows? I want to be me, and lord knows, useless dribble is pretty much me. But I also want to be considerate, semi-funny, and for sure not a complete bore. so there's a bit of a learning curve on what to say where, and to really feel comfortable to be myself.

Another thing I've realized is how much I left behind when I up and moved from my home town to come to school in AZ. When it was time for me to move here to Tempe, I just moved. I didn't look back. Not once. No forwarding address, few goodbyes, just a long drive with my dad to a brand new place. I didn't know a soul. Didn't have a job, or an apartment, or a clue. In three days I found a place to live, got a roommate, landed a job, had a new school, watched my Dad drive away, and was all alone. But I wasn't alone. Everyone else was in the same place, doing the same exact thing. And no one knew me. I could start over. And that's exactly what I did. I started over.

Thing is, those people I left. Those friends. They pretty much kicked ass. I'm not sure why I needed to start over, or what I was running from, but I do know it certainly wasn't those people. It was more the place, and what I felt that place held for me at that moment. So that's something I've missed out by leaving - those people. Facebook as allowed me to take a peek into their lives so far and - not surprisingly - be in awe at their accomplishments, their struggles, their energy, their overall coolness. It's been pretty kick ass, even if I haven't been a part of it.

Okay, wow. didn't mean to get all deep there. I thought this would flow into my first shopping experience at Sprouts. I'll have to save that for another day. Cuz that's kinda a funky place with a totally different mood/vibe than I'm (apparently) in right now.



Lisa said...

yay for facebook. it rocks. i have even hooked up with some relatives i haven't seen very often!

m = michelle said...

yeah, bout that lisa. How bout accepting my friend request hooker?!

Dust and Maddy said...

I'm not sure how I feel about facebook. It's too long for here, but sometimes it kind of creeps me out.