SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL

I decided THIS MORNING to have a little (or kinda big) Halloween special.

So TODAY ONLY you'll get 31% off my book!!!!

go to papertherapy.com to buy it today for big savings!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

m

one way I kill time

You may have noticed with the new blog added a couple silly things. When I set it up I found myself rummaging through some of the add-on features blogger has available to those of us in need of content :) I loved many of them but managed to limit myself to two.

If you scroll aaaaall the way down to the bottom of the blog you'll find a brain exerciser game. It's fast and easy, yet surprisingly hard and not so fast when you do it like a dozen times. Go ahead, give it a try. It's good to give that lump up in your head a work out now and again. I'll fess up, the first time (and second and third) I finished in 59, 56 and 52 seconds. I've stuck with it (more or less) and can now consistently finish in 30. It's like a internal challenge for me now. and besides, sometimes I find myself in need of a break :)

The second little silly adder thing that that "things you ponder" dealio. I love this kind of thing. So Steven Wright. It repeats kind of a lot and I've been considering changing it for something new. This morning I was glad I hadn't yet because this one totally caught my eye.

Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?

Seriously, does everyone else do this too? who knew?!?! I thought I was the only one!

m

so let's talk

Most of you know how my brain flows freely between being sharp, on point, and focused to slow, muddled and just plain gone. As I get older I've notice that this swing happens more often, and which more severity. I have days where I'll not only be able to think of all I have to do, but I'll be able write it all down and systematically check off each item as it's completed. Then there other days, when I can't even spell the word "list" much less get off the couch to start one.

Last week I had two of these brain-dead days, and man they sucked. Because (and I guess this is symptom of the underlying issue) now, not only do I have these off days, but they make me feel like total dog crap. You wanna know how I feel when I'm off? Like I'm pregnant. AND NO - I AM NOT PREGNANT - but that's how I feel. And everyone knows how much I hated being pregnant! Love the first day, and the last day, but those 40 weeks in between suck in the most hard core sucky way!

so why the hell am I telling y'all all of this you ask? Well, because I thought of it at lunch when I got this fortune...

...and figured I would write about how it made me feel. You see, on any given day I might be any of those three people. I realized that it might not make sense, why sometimes I have big things going on, but can't seem to talk about them. Take the signing I had at About Memories and More last weekend. I knew about it, I wanted to talk about it, but I just couldn't. My brain couldn't come up with something worthy of how that event went. And it deserved more than, "had a signing, it went great"

If you've done the math you may have figured out that the off days were before the signing, so why couldn't I blog about it on Monday? Well, here's one of the great consequences of those off days. I don't do anything. I mean A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. so I end up playing catch-up. Which overwhelms me, leaving me teetering on having another set of bad days. make sense?? If you're crazy, it does. It's a vicious cycle I tell ya.

Yah, I won't be off my meds like, ever.

THAT brings me to the signing. MAN WHAT FUN! Super cool group of chickies up in Flag. although I can't I'm surprised, scrapbookers totally rock anyway! Kirsten, the owner, is super fun, and dang cute and WAY creative. She even has a little 8 year old admirer - and we all know 8 year old boys don't lie! So when one loves you, you must really ROCK! :) Thanks for having my Kirsten, you were a fantastic host!

It's always so cool to talk to people about the concept of the book and watch them get it. To watch their eyes light up as they figure out what I mean when I say "scraplifting: it's not a crime." To see them look down at the book and see it for what it is - a way to tap into your own personal creativity. A way to learn exactly how to lift someones page and really, TRULY end up with a page that's uniquely theirs. A huge perk to having taken this huge chance on the book are those experiences. They make it all worth it. Thank you girls! Y'all make it possible for me to keep going out there, pluggin' this little book of mine.

m

early birds, or bats and butterflies rather

Kate's little daycare is run by a really smart chic who held the school's Halloween party last Friday night. I love it that they have it early, leaving Halloween open for trick or treating. It always helps doing a dry run of the costumes. Take Kate's butterfly costume, courtesy of Beth, thanks dawg!, and the floppy antenna. Now I've got time to find something new, or make something, or whatever. yes, I realize that a normal person would test these things out before and make the necessary adjustments, but let's face it, I'm just not a normal person.

So here you go, my little butterfly and batgirl. How cute are these two?!?!

m

faces

So I wanna blog but don't have much to say. How lame is that? I just can't get more than a few senteneces in my head worthy of a real entry. So what does that mean? IT'S TWITTER BLOG TIME AGAIN!

Here are the cutest little ghosts on the planet! I made for Kate's halloween party, which is last Friday. Thank you Lorie for always posting such cute things. I know rarely comment, but I check your blog all the time. It's like one-stop shopping :) And on this day you made me look like a hero!

So there are super easy, and just messy enough that you can get a little finger licking goodness going on. Not that I would lick my fingers while cooking anything ;) OH! and there are like super delicious. super duper delicious. Be warned.

While we're looking at cute, edible faces, this was dinner last week. Yes, I stopped Sarah from eating her food while I took a picture of her Alien Pancakes. Yes, I did this in a restaurant. )But it was Denny's, so it hardly counts.) And yes, I felt like a moron, but I had to! Just look at him, he's freaking ADORABLE!!!

m

signing

Just a quickie little post about a book signing from 2-4 tomorrow (10/25) at About Memories and More up in Flagstaff. Come in and say HI!!!

3rd photo tag

Kaelene tagged me. I'm supposed to post the 3rd photo of the 3rd picture folder. I've just started saving pictures to this computer so this picture is real recent.

Taken 9/30, Kate and Sarah were chillin in Kate's bed - which is a crib (yes she can get in and out of it at will) I thought I could get a good picture of them. I didn't get the picture I wanted, but I have to say, I kinda like this one. who knew that the 3rd of the 3rd is a good way to select pictures?

m

this is what started it all

Years ago I was working with my friend Emily down at Scrapbooks, Etc. when I noticed this key chain she had. When I say noticed, I mean that I drooled and screamed and ran around the store cursing that I didn't have an "E" name. I HAD TO HAVE ONE. but, being the lazy (oh I want to say ass here) person that I am, pretty much knew I wouldn't go to the little store where she bought hers. Emily, being the super cool chic that she is, offered to pick one up next time she was down there. score!

Months and months go by and I'd long since forgotten about my cute little "m". But Emily hadn't. when I finally hooked up with here again, she had the m, but the story of finding it wasn't a pretty one. She told me that she went right down to the store like the next day and there were no m's. then she tried a couple other places, no luck. She tried and tried and tried to find me an m. I kinda felt bad (kinda???) cuz really, my little slobber session over her key chain much have really made an impact on her. While she would never say it, I'm sure she was afraid for her life if she didn't find this m for me. silly girl. But she persevered and found one for me - and I LOVE IT!!

love love love my m key chain.

It lives on my rear view mirror. Peter absolutely hates it there, saying it's so very white trash. Yeah well you married this white trash hooker pal. so there! The M is saying bucko!

and that started my collection of m's.

they are nothing special, just little random, cheapo m's that I pick up anytime I see one. Lately, though, I've gotten a tad out of control. Or maybe not. You tell me.

It's common knowledge that Mervyns isn't doing well (are they actually bankrupt now?) and when the one by my work said it was closing no one was surprised. One morning I was driving out to a meeting, like I often have to, and saw these sign guys taking down the building mounted mervyns sign. I swerve across 3 lanes to make the left into the parking lot. Imagine the Saturday morning garage sale shoppers turning wildly as they see the teeny neon orange sign at the base of the corner telephone pole. That was me.

so I pull in and flag the dude down. This is how that conversation went.

Me: hey! what are you guys going to do with that sign?

Dude: throw it away.

Me: really? well if you are, can I have the m?

Dude: What?

Me: if. you. are. throwing. it. away. can. I. have. the. m.?

Dude: I dunno, I'll have to call my boss. How much you wanna pay?

Me: umm....well....nothing.

Dude: nothing?

Me: yeah! you're throwing them away anyway, right?

Dude: yeah, I guess.

Me: yeah, so can I have it then?

He had to call, but there was no answer so I left my name and number and asked if he would call me back. I left sure that I would never hear from him and felt like a dork for having asked. I could only imagine what he said to his buddies about the crazy, fat, white chick driving a mini-van who wanted this gigantic, bright blue letter m from an old Mervyn's store.

But luck was on my side (dumb luck as peter would put it) and the dude called me at the end of the day. His boss was cool with it and I could come pick it up. We made arrangements for that to happen and now I am the proud owner of a 4 foot wide by 2 foot high plastic, lower case m. and I love it almost as much as my little metal key chain m. It doesn't have a permanent home yet, it's just leaning against the wall on top of the bookcase in my scrapbook room. If only I could have it hanging from the rear view mirror. Now that would be white trash!

m

between me and Kate

Setting the stage: I am on my cell phone, listening to the long, but funny, recorded message waiting to leave a message. Kate notices and wants to talk.

Kate, reaching for phone: "me wanna talk! me wanna talk to daddy!"
Me: "it's not daddy, honey"
Kate: "me wanna talk to daddy!"
Me: "okay honey, but that wasn't daddy. That was Manny"
Kate: "Manny?"
Me: "yes."
Kate: "me wanna talk to Manny!!!"
Me: "let's get you some cereal"
Kate: "okay"

The phone rings, I answer: "hello Manny"
We have our conversation, I hang up.

Kate: "was that Manny?"
Me: "yup"
Kate, GASPING, "OHHHH! yayyy....manny!!!"

Kate goes back to eating her cereal, singing "manny manny" under her breathe.

I've no idea where that came from. I work with Manny and she's met him a number of times, but I highly doubt she would know who he was given a choice. Not that I mind her excitement. You see, she didn't get to talk to daddy. That's not normally how that goes.

m

drama on a dime

I have crap light in my house. crap! It's probably the thing I dislike most about my house. The only decent window is in Sarah's room, and even then it's still crap. Even so, sometimes I think the architecture and sun will take pity on my and I might be able to get some pictures of the kids. Hasn't happened yet, but that didn't stop me on this particular afternoon.

You can tell my expectations were low by the crazy dirty and completley uncoordinated clothes I didn't make the kids change out of. To my surprise, thought, the attempt at a photo shoot started okay.



Except for Noah looking stoned, I actually liked this shot, and thought we could be on to something. Hey! Let's try to get A GOOD picturs of ALL THREE OF YOU! First Mistake! This must turn some crazy switch in these guys because holy crap - put them in front of a camera and ask them to just sit. SIT. They can move, and talk, and breathe and everything. but sit on your butt for crying out loud. OH NO!! too much to ask, and we all lost out minds.

Things quickly turned out like every other time I've tried to do this, with me threantening to call the gypsies if they didn't sit their butt down and look cute for mommy before her head explodes or the camera ends up on the front lawn via the closed window.

I must have pushed too hard because ON A DIME Sarah got her sour puss face on.



It's I.N.S.A.N.E. how fast this happens. Faster than the losing the mind switch. It's like BAM! I'M SAD NOW AND NOTHING IS GOING TO MAKE ME LIKE YOU AGAIN.

i gave up. done. don't need a picture today. Go ahead and bounce around like I've just force fed you crack with a red bull chaser. Just don't come crying to me when you bust your head open on the dresser. Mommy is going to be rocking in the bathtub, thank you very much.

Then somehow, someway, for reasons I've yet to figure out, much less duplicate, sarah stopped being all poo-poo-long-face and smiled. Welcome back, my sweet.




The drama had past and my children were all normal again. Praise Jesus!

I, however, still needed some me time rocking in the tub.

m

atop my tv

I used to have this big cursive, button embellished "M" on my TV, right below that clock. It had to find a new home when I got this fun vinyl phrase from Brenda over at Eye Candy. I don't think she has a site, contact Lisa for her phone number. anyway, I love it. Thanks Brenda! It's added a cool touch to my family room.

Since I put that up I've spent some time just looking at the collection of things that have found their home on my TV. I found myself surprised that's it's mostly stuff from my dad. The huge candlesticks were a Christmas present/housewarming gift from him years ago. I remember it was a combined gift because they were rather expensive and we've had a spending limit for adult gifts for years, and this far exceeded that limit. they mean a lot to me for some reason, although I've never really been able to vocalize why. It was such an indulgent purchase for our family. I mean they were a lot. I think Dad knew that I fell completely in love with them and that they would always have a honored place in our home. And they do. I still love them as much as that very first day.

Then there's the round slice of rock, bottom left of photo. I didn't fully know it at the time, but this would be the last thing he ever bought me. I'm fairly certain he knew it would be his last gift. Which makes it all the more important. We were strolling around downtown Auburn California at the local antique shops and locally owned boutiques during my super fast visit before my 20th high school reunion.

Our first stop was this rock store, common in northern cali, with all it's gold and other natural goodness. I'm not the type who buys these types of things. No real reason. I love to look at them but having rocks in my house, even as pretty as they can be, usually doesn't interest me. But this one caught my eye, and Dad noticed. We went back and forth about this silly rock, talking about what we 'saw' in it, toying with buying it, but where would it live, how it survive the trip home, much less the kids, when finally he just bought it for me. So him.

In it I saw a lake, a huge lake with almost no end. A lake that went past the out cluster of shore which separated the part you might swim in from the part that one might speed boat in - although this wasn't a boating type a lake, but still a fun lake, with no end.

He saw the ocean with its vast horizon line that, also, had no end.

He bought that rock for me in August, 2007, and died 5 months later. I've posted this poem before, but will again. It gave me so much conform those hard days of waiting at Hospice. Read it with the thought of this rock and tell me he didn't know something beyond the fact that he had cancer...

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my sidespreads her white sails to the morning breeze andstarts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beautyand strength. I stand and watch her until at lengthshe hangs like a speck of white cloud just wherethe sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large inmast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side andshe is just as able to bear her load of living freight to herdestined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at themoment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voicesready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

And that is dying.

I don't mean to be a big bummer. We all deal with dying in our own way, and today mine is to talk about this. I think that's why I'm so touched by Kimberly's loss. My dad had been diagnosed with cancer and knew his time was short. He was able to, knowingly or not, leave something significant for me. Something I could always know we, at some level, had the same thoughts about. I hope she finds that one thing he husband was able to leave for her and that maybe it's something that lives on her TV. Something to remind her that this is not the end. Something she can look at, and smile.

m

as I overlap blogs...

I'm trying to make the switch to this blog, but started something over at "i swear" that I don't want to end or move till the end of the week. So I'm going to duplicate them till I feel I can make the break:

Here are the recent posts from over there....

"my heart is warm"

Y'all are busting this, and my heart is warm. Keep going. Dig deep. We can be a ray of light during such a dark time for someone else. I might not know her, but that doesn't matter. I could be her.

every.
little.
bit.
helps.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"benefit for Kimberly"

I don't have much time today, so I'm going to send you to cathy's blog and to tara's blog for the whole story.

Now here's what I'm going to do. Beyond my personal contribution, I am going to have a week long benefit for Kimberly. I don't have much to offer, but what I have, I'll give. If you buy the book this week I'll donate all my profits to Kimberly and her family.

there are absolutely no strings. You don't have to enter a code. You don't have to have read anyone's blog. all you have to do it buy the book. ALL retail sales will be included, whether they know about the benefit or not.

so if you were thinking of getting the book but were holding off for the right time, I'd say the right time is now. We have the power to help a sister in need.

We can all make a difference.

m

p.s. OH YEA! As I said I'm in a time crunch today (dang real job) so I don't have time right now to update the paper therapy site with this benefit, but please rest assured that all sales will be tallied - starting now. I personally process all sales : ) so there's no chance of any sales being left off!

my new home

After admittedly WAY too much thought and pestering of Beth, I've finally decided to build a new, more professionalish, home in the blogging world. Okay, professional might not be the best word. Let's just say less UNprofessional, shall we? I love "i swear" but let's face it, linking Paper Therapy to it isn't the best idea, so I'm told. I swear will stay up but I won't be posting there anymore. Everything will be here, yo.

So I've cleaned up my act (mostly) and will post more scrapping/book related things here. As well TRY to post more in general. I have some cool plans, including featuring people and lifted pages and stuff. <--see "stuff" I'm already better, because you know full well what I said in my head, right?

I'm still going to twitter, but I think I'm going to take off the preview so I can slip in the occasional naughty word without it being directly posted here. So follow me, or just click from here to see what incredibly stupid and mundane things I'm talking about in 140 character bursts.

I hope you like it. It's felt kinda good ridding myself of all the sh----OOOPS!!! baby steps.

m