Saturday, November 8, 2008

Parenting Tip of the Month (or not)

Don't let this title fool you, I'm not going to be adding a monthly parenting tip to my blog? Why, you ask? Because I'm like the crappiest mother ever. Oh yes, it's true.

Want proof? Our pet hamster Rascal died. Found him dead Friday morning. This, in itself, doesn't earn me "crap mother of the year" award, as pets are allowed to die. The problem? I'm not exactly sure when it happened. I know he was alive Wednesday, because I saw him climbing in his cage, but beyond that I'm clueless. I'm a monster!

Last night I told the kids. Noah first, since it was his birthday present pet. He burst into tears. I felt terrible. He asked how, and why, and was it his fault? I told him no and no and heavens no! all the while thinking it's your mother's fault. I probably put him in a diabetic coma feeding him too many carrots and grapes. Can hamsters get diabetes? Should they even eat carrots and grapes? See? These are things I should know! Monster I tell you!

OOH!!! And to top off this pleasure cruise of self loathing, I wrapped up little rascal and put him in the trash. WHAT???!! what are you supposed to do? I didn't know, and it was trash day. Turns out I might have thought to save him so Noah could see him, and say goodbye maybe. Hell if I know. All I know is I had to completely avoid Noah's question of what I did with him. He'll ask again, I'm sure. Still have NO idea what I'll tell him, "Mommy threw your beloved little pet in the garbage honey, and years from now you won't see her in heaven, Satan has a special spot for hamster tossing monster moms!"

I started this blog entry thinking about this super clever and incredibly brilliant idea slash parenting tip I came up with while dining with the kids the other night. But now I'm wondering if this is just another example of what a monster I am!

Here's what happened. We are with another family and that mom, her name is Renee, is like super prepared and actually brings things to entertain her children during dinner. Something I've long since given up remembering I should do. There we are, adults chatting away having a great time while the kids put together the puzzle Renee brought along. They started to get restless after putting it together twice. Oh bloody hell! I just realize they put it together a second time because I tore it apart right as they finished, laughed and said "uh oh, looks like you have to do it again!" What is wrong with me???

As I was saying, after they put it together, for the second time, no thanks to me, they were bored. I suggested they do it upside down and wouldn't ya know it - they did! I made Eric, the one who did the bulk of the work, hold off with the last piece so I could snap a picture.

So my parenting tip of the month, find someone else who is like NICE and THOUGHTFUL to get tips from. I'm for sure not qualified! :)



runningfan said...

You are completely hilarious!

Lisa said...

well you are not a monster. maybe a little wacky!! ha ha

tell renee to get bring a bigger puzzle next time!!!

Kaelene said...

Okay, the purpose of a blog is NOT to bash ones' self! c'mon, you don't do so badly . . . your children adore you, even if you don't bring puzzles to dinner!!

Beth said...

Dude- that's what the crayons and coloring sheets from the restaurants are for! Let them entertain your kids. ;)

RIP, Rascal. :(

Kerry said...

poor hammie. DOn't feel bad about the trash, we had to leave one in a rest area trash can somewhere in Oklahoma on our way here. LOL. Poor chainsaw didn't make it all the way. Sooooo close....